I'm not broken (RoyalChaos)

Chapter 20 - Boy toy

Ze's perspective

I chuckled at Chilled's cheesy joke and looked back at the road. We were driving downtown to do some shopping and the Italian was holding the steering wheel with one hand as he had his other one intertwined with mine. A bit further up ahead was a truck that was trying to drive across the road to go around the corner. Like time was slowed down I watched it come closer to us, but I didn't realize just how close it was until we collided with it, a loud bang filling my ears. The impact knocked me to the front where I hit my head pretty hard. I sat up straight after a few seconds and pressed a hand against my forehead. As I removed it there was blood all over my fingers. My heartbeat quickened and I turned to look at Chilled, hoping he wasn't hurt. He was hanging in his seatbelt, his head leaned against the window.

"Anthony?", I called his name and carefully pulled him towards me.

His body practically fell into my arms and I gasped as I saw a trail of blood running down the side of his head. My glance wandered towards the window where I saw more of his blood. I shook my head while I tried to get him out of his seatbelt.

"No, please, no", I whispered as I got him loose and tried to find a pulse.

His limp body fell into my lap. There was no pulse. I let go of his arm and pulled him up a bit by his shoulders. He couldn't be. He wasn't allowed to be. I shook his shoulders so violently that blood splattered all across my shirt. He wasn't allowed to leave me. Not like this. My shoulders shook as I let out a first sob.

"Anthony, please!", I begged him, tears and snot streaming down my face.

My vision got blurry from all the tears and I could barely even catch my breath, that's how much I was sobbing.

"Please don't leave me!", I continued to cry out, sirens sounding in the background, "You can't do this to me, please, I need you!"

My begging didn't help. The car doors were opened and strong arms pulled me out of the car after I was freed from my seatbelt, but I tried to fight them, tried to keep holding on to my Anthony who was still lying limp on my legs. More hands reached out for me and succeeded to pull me away from him. I threw my arms around hysterically, trying to get the arms to let go of me. I had to stay with Anthony.

"Please!", I screeched, "Let me be with him!"

I saw someone else grab his lifeless body and tug it out of the car. I gave up my fight and watched someone checking his vitals and shaking his head as he backed away again. I had difficulties with breathing and a nurse rushed towards me, trying to calm me down in order to get me to breathe. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to breathe if the person that kept me alive was gone himself. I had lost someone I loved before, but this time it was worse. This time I felt like dying myself.

As I woke up from my dream I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air, but my chest felt like someone had put a heavy weight on it. Breathing caused my lungs to ache, but I needed the air. My heart felt like it was bouncing out of my chest, my body was shaking and I felt like I was going to throw up. I heard the covers rustle between my gasps and suddenly the light was flicked on.

"Ze!", I heard someone call me, but I pressed my eyes shut.

If I kept lying down like this I wouldn't get any air at all, so I tried to sit up against the headboard to access more air. Breathing still hurt, especially because I barely had time to exhale. I needed air and I needed it fast. At the same time my tummy was turning and I felt something crawl up my throat, but I tried to swallow it down. That turned out to be a bad idea, because it left me coughing while I still couldn't breathe. I was going to die, I was going to die for sure.