Sweetness of The Stars

Sweetness of the Stars Chapter 1 Remake

Hello everyone! I have been inactive for a while, but I have not been slacking on my writing. I just about finished this book but have chosen not to post the ending because I have made the decision to turn it into a light novel! I've talked with many people about this and I feel this would be for the best. So in order to prepare the story to be put on the market, I decided to rewrite the story slightly to satisfy myself, since I feel I could improve upon it greatly and make it the best it could be. I will not be posting any of the other chapter remakes, only this one because I want to show everyone how I have changed Sweetness of the Stars, and because I want to tease its release as a light novel which will be coming in about a year or so. I will also enter Sweetness of the Stars in the Voyceme contest that will be going down in March, so please support it when I enter it once they allow me to do so. Thank you all for the support!

Chapter 1 Remake:
“I’m sorry, but I’m breaking up with you.” Standing face-to-face with me was a girl I knew, and I thought I loved. She swatted away her glistening brown bangs as to not interfere with her regretful, and almost pitiful glare. 

“But we’ve only dated for like two hours,”  I shot out, definitely disturbed by what came out of my mouth. Yeah, two hours is pretty pathetic. It’s okay to laugh at it. 

Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever held a relationship longer than a week. Not to say I had a lot of relationships, quite the opposite in fact. I just don’t know what about me that ticks off girls or what I do that suddenly turns them off. I like to say I’m pretty attractive, but like the chick magnets say,  “It’s the personality that matters the most.” Guess I’m not a chick magnet… obviously. Lets see, I wonder what the opposite of a chick magnet is? A hen repeller? Nah, it doesn’t have a very good ring to it. Eh, I’ll work on it later.

The girl glaring at me, my now ex girlfriend, opened her mouth to speak, but only let out a stressed sigh in rhythm with the chirping of the birds around us. “I know, Naz. I just don’t think things would work with the two of us.”

“Oh. O-Okay…” My throat at this moment tensed up, and I could definitely feel the tears coming. But the tears wouldn’t flow. Why?

“Thanks for understanding.” The girl then spun around and gleefully skipped away to her friends. Her gray oversized hoodie twirls around her waist like a skirt. “Hey! Wait up! I’m free to go to the movies now!”

Wait, that was a facade this whole time? Was I that tiresome that she couldn’t put up with her little persona? I wondered why I wouldn’t cry. Now I know it wasn’t because the tears weren't to be produced out of sadness, but by the same emotion she held me in. 

I should’ve expected that this relationship wouldn’t last long. But I was optimistic. I should’ve at least prepared for this, but sadly I wasn’t ready. I dashed home, catching the flowing tears with my timid hands.

Little did I know there was a secret admirer closer to me than I had ever expected. Ayano, my good childhood friend, looked around the corner of a nearby building and observed with keen eyes. But she felt heart broken as well. 

Ayano tailed the group of girls as they strolled through town and onwards towards the movie theater. Despite having sympathy for me and seeing what one of the girls did to me first hand, she still followed them with a rather exuberant expression, occasionally chuckling  like a child. 

When the group of girls would cross the street on the crosswalk, Ayano would awkwardly idle behind a bush until the following group of people crossed for her to stay hidden. Leaping back onto the sidewalk, Ayano’s left foot struck the side of the curb and she shrieked as she tripped and came tumbling onto the ground.