My Shining Light

Chapter 8

Lucy wondered if she should answer Eunwoo's call.

What if he had something important to tell her?

Already he had her worrying about his every intention. Isn't this why she should follow Hannah's advice and not get involved with him?

But Lucy couldn't resist knowing. Her curiosity getting the better of her, she answered the call before she missed it.

"Hello?" she said in a quiet voice from under her bed covers.

"Hey, it's me," Eunwoo's soft voice answered.

"Do you want to video call?" he asked.

She turned on her bed side lamp and looked down at her satin singlet pyjama top. It didn't look too revealing, but she pulled the bed covers up anyway. She was too tired to sit up so she just lay on her side and turned the video on.

Eunwoo's face appeared on her screen. He smiled automatically at the sight of her, his head also resting on a pillow.

"Haven't done this in a while. What are you doing?"

"I'm in bed," she answered. "What are you doing?"

"I'm in bed too, it's late you know," he teased, his little laugh making her smile.

"What do you want?" she joked, "I have to go to work early tomorrow."

He ignored her question and asked her to show him her room. She turned the screen around to give him a view of her bedroom.

"Wow, super stylish. Is this a different room to your old one? Aren't you living with Hannah and Jun?"

"Yeah, but they built a new attachment to the house for me when I turned 20. I have my own house, my own space, even my own music room."

"Ohh lucky you. You're so spoilt. Your own music room, wow. Are you still composing much?"

Eunwoo asked her questions about her music, her job, everything. Then in turn he told her everything from his insecurities about his next acting role to his plans for the future.

It finally felt like they were talking like normal friends who were casually catching up on each other's lives. Maybe they could keep their friendship after all, she thought. Then he asked her something that caught her off guard.

"So, the last time I saw you was at Aera's birthday. You were with Kim Taeho. Are you still seeing him?"

Lucy froze at the mention of his name.

Kim Taeho.

She reflexively looked across the room at her jewellery box which held her engagement ring inside.

Why was she tormenting herself by keeping it in her bedroom? Flashbacks of Taeho came quick and fast and her heart began to race.

"Luce? Are you not dating him anymore?" Eunwoo asked her directly.

She was trying to block out the memories. Unable to speak or look at him, she just shook her head.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly.

Lucy shook her head again. "It's okay, it's over now," she said, her voice barely a whisper. She coughed, trying to get her normal voice back. "Luckily hardly anyone knew about us, you know? With the whole secret relationship thing, only close friends knowing, avoiding the media, et cetera..."

"Right. How long were you together?"

"Two years," she said, her voice shaking.

"Wow, that's a long time. I'm sorry Luce. Was it... bad?"

She swallowed hard. He was asking more and more questions, tearing open her fragile heart. She should probably stop now before she cried in front of him for the second time today.

"I can't..." she couldn't go on. Yes it was a bad break up, the worst kind, and she still hadn't recovered from it.

"I should go to sleep now," she said, trying to end the call before any tears flowed.

"It's going to be okay," he said gently.

"Goodnight," she whispered.

"Okay goodnight Luce, I'll talk to you later."

He hung up the phone and she turned her face into the pillow. The one thing that been good about dating in secret was that she wasn't being bothered by any people asking about it.

Unfortunately Eunwoo knew about her and Taeho. She hoped he didn't ask her about it again because there was no way that she could tell Eunwoo what really happened.

...

It wasn't a surprise to Lucy when she woke up feeling awful the next morning. Without thinking, she rolled out of bed and went over to the desk in the study. Inside the second drawer was a pile of photo albums and old frames.

A navy blue photo frame caught her eye. In the picture, she stood side by side with the man that she had thought was the love of her life.

Oh how she missed him.

Kim Taeho had his thick arm around her and a big grin on his face. She hugged his side and leaned her head against his cheek. He was tall, muscular, handsome, and had an infectious smile that won hearts on television and movie screens.

Taeho had won Lucy's heart completely and she thought that the love they shared was special. But in a flash it was gone forever, never to return. If that was so, then why couldn't she throw these things away?

She tucked the photos back into the drawer and thought about her ring in the jewellery box.

The reason she couldn't do that was because she still didn't have answers to the question of why things had fallen apart. It troubled her every day and it was wearing her down. She also lived in fear of something bad happening again. If she heard raised voices or felt threatened, the flashbacks sent her reeling. Sometimes they came without warning and she couldn't explain why she was suddenly thrust into a panic attack. She just needed to keep moving and surround herself with people she loved and trusted.

Despite her fears about Eunwoo, she knew that he was a good person and she really hoped that they could be friends. If not, she had to be prepared to let him go.

Lucy shut the desk drawer and returned to her bedroom. When she checked her phone she saw that Eunwoo had sent her an early message.

Hey Lucy, are you feeling okay? I'm so glad I saw you yesterday and we talked last night. Let's meet up soon and do something fun together, okay? Btw I missed you too.