My Shining Light

Chapter 35

It was Friday night and Eunwoo stood on stage, his arms locked in the final pose as the song came to an end. He kept his face tilted slightly to the side and tried to control his breathing as the camera zoomed in on him for the last shot.

The crowd screamed and cheered, then the lights went out and the stage went black.

Puffed and sweaty, he followed Astro off the stage, their performance over.

That was awful! He groaned inwardly. Letting the team down was the worst. He was filled with frustration and shame at the mistakes he'd made just now. They all would've noticed how he clumsily moved in the wrong direction, almost bumping into MJ mid-song.

He felt Rocky place a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay, hyung," he said into his ear.

Then Bin's arm was around him. He hugged it close to his chest, grateful for the support.

No matter what happened, they would reassure him. Feedback and criticism would come later, but for now they gave him comfort.

Led by their managers, they descended backstage together, squeezing past stage workers and their other support staff.

Suddenly, he came face to face with Lucy, wearing a bright red sweater and short denim skirt, standing in the hallway with Manager Kim.

Shit! She was here?!

What was she doing at his performance tonight? She must've watched him from the side of the stage! It had to be on the one night he majorly screwed up.

He looked her up and down.

She was so damn hot.

Wearing red lipstick to match her top, she smiled at him as he came past.

That smile drove him wild, and her outfit, though so simple and casually worn, was crazy sexy to him.

He heard the others greet her but he only tilted his head in a bow to acknowledge her, unable to return her smile.

Abashed, he passed her by, following the other members down the hallway to their backstage change room. They went inside but he tugged on Jinwoo's arm and gestured down the hall. Jinwoo nodded at him, understanding what he needed.

Eunwoo kept walking and heard MJ call out.

"Lucy wait, Eunwoo likes to be alone at times like this," he told her.

It was true, he really didn't want to face anyone right now, especially not Lucy.

He ran away from her, up some stairs, wandering around until he found a secluded nook out of sight. Sliding his back down the wall, he sat with his knees to his chest and head hidden in his arms.

He heard her footsteps approaching but kept his head down. Then he opened his eyes when he felt her slide down beside him, looking through the gap in his arms at her smooth legs leaning next to his.

They sat there for a couple of minutes in quietude. He tried to think and calm his nerves but having her there was making it difficult.

She both comforted him and wound him up at the same time. It was nothing she'd done, but rather his frustrations at his own inadequacies that bothered him.

"I didn't know you'd be here tonight," he said to the floor, his face still hidden from her.

"Aera offered me a backstage pass so I could watch how you guys perform to all the cameras," she said. "I was going to surprise you..."

"You saw me perform badly," he said.

"I saw the crowd go crazy for you."

"But I didn't want you to see me mess up like that."

"Dongmin, it's just me!"

"It's because it's you," he said, tears escaping from his eyes.

"Why? You can't make a mistake in front of me?"

He stayed silent, his mind slowly churning.

Couldn't he make mistakes in front of her? She never once judged him before, so why was he behaving like this?

A couple of nights ago, he'd told her how much it meant to him that she'd been there for him during the times he thought about giving up. Hadn't she already seen him at his worst?

But he didn't want to be weak now, he wanted to be a man to her.

He looked up at her, at the details of her face and her blue eyes staring into his.

"You're disappointed," she said, "but I'm not disappointed in you."

He choked, fighting tears.

"It must be because I've been thinking about what we were talking about the other night, all those memories... it made me feel kind of emotional in the last couple of days," she said, playing with her necklace.

"I was really looking forward to seeing you perform tonight. I was struck by the fact that you've really made it, as an idol, an actor, model... Dongmin, I'm really proud of you!" she cried, placing a hand on his arm.

He put his hand on top of hers and held it there.

"I'm glad you came. Sorry for... acting like this," he said.

"Don't apologise-"

"I know you hate that but just let me say it sometimes okay? You put things in perspective."

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, "I could've done worse, but Rocky and Jinjin helped me prepare the best they could. Like you said, they always take care of me. Especially Jinjin, he's... I'm so lucky to have him."

She nodded and pulled her hand free.

"Come on," she said, getting up. "I have a surprise for you in the back room and I'm afraid if we take too long it'll be devoured before you get any of the good bits."

"Another surprise?" he asked.

She laughed at his expression, "I know, right? What's with all the surprises this week? What could it be..."

Her laugh was so gorgeous.

Just like that, everything felt okay.

He stood up and followed her back down the stairs and into Astro's room where the members were crowded around a table covered in dishes.

"Wait, is this your food?" he asked, the familiar smell of her jjigae filling his nose and the sight of her gimbap making his mouth water.

She nodded, "Eat up! Looks like they've been waiting for you," she said, pushing him towards the table.

Wow, it was a feast! He sat down and snatched a roll of gimbap. It tasted so good that he grabbed another while Lucy began dishing out food for them all. She filled a bowl with a large serve of jjigae, and placed it in front of him with a smile.

He suddenly decided not to agonise over his performance anymore tonight. Rather he was going to enjoy Lucy's food, her smiles, and looking at her in that very hot outfit.