My Shining Light

Chapter 27

Eunwoo couldn't help but smile across the table at Lucy. He could relax now that they finally had food in front of them and were eating together, him loudly slurping up his seafood hot pot and her happily scooping up her chocolate ice cream.

He'd felt anxiety building in his chest as he rushed to the restaurant, feeling terrible that he was over two hours late to meet her. He was expecting her to be gone when he arrived, and he dreaded how many missed calls and messages were going to pop up once he'd charged his phone and brought it back to life. It wasn't a good start to making things better between them.

And yet when he walked through the door, and he saw her sitting there, waiting for him with a smile, no anger or resentment seething beneath the surface, his worries instantly melted away.

He was extremely relieved because he was tired, just so physically and mentally tired. After such a long day, he didn't have the energy to listen to how bad he was for letting her down. He just wanted to hold her tight, to let his stress fade away and be replaced with her warmth and comfort.

He told her about the program, how he'd spent all day being ordered around by Eunjong and Haewon. He felt sorry for the students who received constant criticism and threats that if they didn't improve, they wouldn't 'make the cut' into the competition. The poor kids looked miserable.

Then this evening he had to go to a charity dinner where he was in so much demand, with people crowding around him, that he didn't get a single break or a single piece of food. He barely escaped out the door at a quarter to ten, and even then, someone followed him into the car park to ask him for his autograph. Though his manager asked the person to leave him be, Eunwoo had stopped and given it to them because... what else could he do?

Lucy sympathised and used her chopsticks to add more kimchi into his rice bowl.

"Would you like some ice cream too?" she asked, trying to cheer him up.

"I can't on my diet right now," he said with a sigh. "Maybe next time, after I finish this bunch of modelling shoots next week. We can go and get ice cream or something?"

"We will eventually," she said noncommittally.

He understood that response. She wasn't expecting anything from him.

She thinks I will cancel on her, or worse, make her wait for hours for me, all alone.

"Luce, there's something I wanted to say to you," he said with a serious tone.

Surprised, she put down her spoon, giving him her full attention.

That made him more nervous, but he had to get these words off his chest.

"For the last couple of years, I haven't kept in touch and I just want to say that I'm sorry-"

"Dongmin-ah, please don't..."

He knew she felt uncomfortable with apologies like this, but it had to be said.

"Lucy, wait. Please just listen. I'm sorry, okay? I don't know what happened with you and Kim Taeho, I don't know anything that's going on in your life and I regret that."

He paused, trying to keep his voice level and remember everything he'd practiced saying to her.

"I want to be friends again. Can we... I promise not to shut you out like I did before. So can you please tell me that you forgive me and let us start again?" 

"Of course I forgive you. I'll forgive you anything," she said.

"As for being friends again..." she paused for a moment, biting on her lip and staring out the window.

He held his breath, suddenly feeling hollow inside.

Was she thinking of saying no to him?

Perhaps she was happy to forgive him but not let him back into her life again.

He would deserve to be shut out after the way he'd treated her. His dream was a premonition, warning him that she was already lost to him.

And he thought he'd finally found the courage to reach out to her, hoping it would progress into something more. He so badly wanted to hold her and kiss her. He knew she cared for him, so why was he so afraid?

Because like his dream had shown him, his greatest fear was losing her, and if he crossed the line, she might pull away forever.

"Okay, we can be friends," she said decidedly. "And I'll tell you now what I feel comfortable sharing about Taeho, but then I never want to speak about him again. Okay?"

He let the air out of his lungs in a big sigh of relief, then nodded fervently at her.

"Taeho and I were supposed to get married next month. I didn't invite you because it was very small, basically family only and a handful of friends."

He gasped in shock. Lucy? Married? He had no clue.

"But then we broke up. He... hurt me, badly, so there's no repairing our relationship-"

"He hurt you?!" He cried, alarmed at what that meant.

He gripped the table in anger. How? What did he do?

She gave him a stern look.

Oh, he was meant to listen and not ask questions.

"Then he just disappeared. I found out later that he left the next morning to go to China. He went to shoot a TV series which he was previously strongly against doing. Anyway, I haven't seen or heard from him since."

Eunwoo wanted to know more. Why did they break up? He'd only met Kim Taeho briefly before, but he must've made an impression on Lucy for her to agree to marry him. He couldn't believe she was going to get married and he never knew about it. Then Taeho had hurt her? What the hell? It stirred him up inside to hear that, but he had to hold back from asking about it.

He should just comfort her.

He was about to reach across the table to hold her hand, but she pulled her hands up to her face, wiping at the sides of her eyes.

"I haven't been doing so well since... everything that happened. That party the other night was one of the first big parties that I've been to in months. You know how I usually have to attend events for Hannah and Jun..."

"It's good that you were there, and I think Jinjin-hyung was really grateful to you. Did he speak to you in the elevator?"

"What?" she asked, her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh, yeah..." she mumbled, looking down at her plate.

Maybe she felt awkward about seeing him cry. But Jinwoo cried easily, he took many things to heart.

"Jinjin-hyung is a great guy, he's just sensitive at times," he tried to explain. "I can tell him about anything and he'll always do his best to help me or comfort me. He's a bit like you, Luce."

"Like me?"

"Yeah, I think you guys would get along well. He likes to compose music too."

She was giving him a strange look that he couldn't read.

He only meant that Jinwoo was a nice guy and she shouldn't judge him based on what happened on Saturday night.

"He seems nice, yeah. It would be cool to work on a song for Astro or something."

"Yeah that would be awesome!" he exclaimed.

He was really coming around to the idea of Lucy being more involved with Astro. Then he could spend more time with her and they could be close again.

By the time they finished their meal, it was getting late. He offered her a lift home but she declined, her house was a long drive from the dorm.

As he said goodbye to her, he felt content. They had made up. Hopefully this meant that his dreams about her would change. Instead of watching in terror as she fell far away from him, soon she would be happily falling into his arms.