OBSESSION [ Ten x Yangyang ]

1.

The rest of that night was spend with him being awake and being helpless. That night led to another night and to another one. Each one became more and more longer.

If it wasn't for the light outside he wouldn't know how to separate his day from his, suppose to, nights.

Kun did keep his words. He visited the younger almost every day, making sure he ate well.

But nothing was helping, and his craving for a certain person only grew on every white night. He wanted to see her, he needed to and that's how he found himself standing in front of a closed door he saw only one time. But even that time was a little blurry.

He was standing there staring at it. He had his one arm up leaning on the wall and his head was held down, ashamed he reached this level of not being able to stop himself.

Only one step was separating him from messing his whole life up and yet his body didn't seem to listen to his fucked up mind when it reached the door and knocked three times.

He was praying that she wouldn't be home, that no one will open the door. He was so lost that he held his eyes close and didn't open them. Not wanting to know if that door has already opened or not.

"Yangyang?" He heard her calling him. He didn't want to believe it, he didn't want to believe she opened the door cause it meat game over.

"You're alright?" She asked concern and he opened his eyes. He felt the sweat on his forehead while his body remained frozen when he saw her.

"M..Miran." He stuttered a bit and his voice came out as a whisper.

"Yangyang is there something wrong?" He could feel her anxiety rising up when she shouldn't be stressing over anything.

He couldn't answer her, his body was numb.

His eyes, his voice and his body were lost. His mind was screaming too many things that he couldn't catch up.

"Come in first." She grabbed his arm and pulled him inside. At that moment his heart dropped, all the yelling inside his mind stopped in an instant as if everyone knew what is going to happen.

The fight that his mind was having was about if he should turn and run away or go inside. But seems like someone else made that discussion for him when she dragged him inside.

She closed the door and stood in front of him, looking at his eyes and waiting for him to tell her what's going on.

Her eyes did a magic work to him, that sparkle that was inside has him hypnotized.

"I don't know how to talk about it" He started, in a whisper and she just stood there looking at him.

"Wanna swim your eyes." He continued to whisper and took a step towards her.

He saw the fear that started to rise up in her, her eyes told him everything and his eyes went stern. "No don't fear me, don't" Yet the whispering never ended.

"I'm not here to hurt you or anything, in fact you're the one who's always hurting me, Miran." He looked away trying to progress the next words he should say. "My emotions, my emotions are the ones I should fear not you."

"I don't seem to be understanding you, Yangyang." She said, her voice shaking a little.

"You didn't drink again," she paused a little afraid of his reaction, "right?"

At first he was trying to understand what she meant but then it clicked.

"Miran come on now," he chuckled but his voice was emotionless, "it's four in the afternoon for god's sake."

He took a deep breath after that, because the impact of everything he could feel himself becoming hot and when his vision became blurry, he knew that tears started to form up.

Now he knew why she asked if he was drunk, at this moment he probably looked like a maniac. Not like he knew if he's already one by now or not, with a small smile on his lips, face red and tears in his eyes. Not to mention the visible dark circles now underneath his eyes as a consequence of his sleep deprivation.

"I can't sleep at all." His voice cracked. "Look what you have done."

He stared for a little into her eyes but he couldn't see anything else than fear, lost and pity. The three things he hated the most, especially when it was her whom was looking at him like that.

It only caused for more tears to form in his eyes and for anger to start rise up inside of him.

After he saw that look, he turned around and ran his hands through his hair, pulling it back.

"Close your eyes." He said sternly.

"What?" She asked not understanding anything that was happening right now.

"If you're going to look at me that way, then I beg you to close your eyes. I can't take that look, Miran. I can see how much you are scared of me right now and I don't want you to be. I could never hurt you, Miran."

He turned around to face her. She didn't close her eyes but the fear in them was gone now. He sighed in relief but tears were still running down.

"Say something for me. Please, don't keep me in the dark anymore. Don't keep me in the silence."

"Yangyang, I'm not afraid of you." She said quietly. "But what you're doing right now isn't right so please go rest a little and we will talk later."

She turned around taking steps towards the door.

"No." He almost yelled. "You have no idea how long I've been like this until I can't take it anymore. Each time I picture you being with, I fucking lose my mind."

He licked his lips and took steps towards her who still stood silently, not knowing what to do.

"I want to be your number one, just like you're mines." He whispered.

"Yangyang." She repeated, ignoring everything he just said. "Please go and rest. I'm beginning you. You look like you're about to faint any minute."

His heart dropped. She just ignored his confession. He looked at her with no emotions in his eyes and she stood there and opened the door for him.

"We will talk later, I promise but for now go and rest." She held his arm and dragged him outside.

He stood there with no emotions and dried tears on his cheek, looking at her.

With a little broken smile from her, he saw a tear drop from her eye before she closed the door. 

He's back to how he stood here in the beginning but without the yelling in his head, only his broken heart.