physiotherapy | awsten knight

12: dirty laundry

if you weren't able to read the last two chapters, this will give you enough hints to conclude to the content, without being explicit.

November 19th, 4 weeks before the incident

Cosima offered Awsten a glass of water after they wrapped up the interview. He gulped it down greedily, and sat on her couch hunched over, looking a little defeated.

"I didn't mean to break down on you there.", he muttered.

"That's okay, it's better than to keep it in.", she patted his back and sat down next to him.

"It did help me incredibly, I didn't even realise how much I needed to talk about this again. Thank you so much."

She smiled at him, "It's not a problem. If you want to do this again, anytime. I'm not a licensed therapist, but I can always talk and listen to you, as your friend."

She encouragingly took his hand again.

"But, if you feel you need it. Maybe go to that doctor again."

Awsten nodded, admitting that she was right, "Maybe you have a point. The cognitive therapy did do me well, and I do want to better myself."

"You're saying that like you haven't already. You've come very far, you're reflecting on everything very well and you're so self-aware. I admire you.", Cosima reinforced.

Awsten blushed and looked down at their intertwined hands, "Thank you, it really means a lot. Can I see the evaluation when you've written it?"

"Of course you can."

Awsten stayed for two more hours as they watched Scary Movie on Netflix to his request. Cosima was happy to see him laugh again. He seemed exhausted from the mental pain he had been reliving, unsurprisingly though, but distraction was the best method for healing.

She had made popcorn in the microwave for them and Awsten was shoving handfuls into his mouth. Some of the pieces landed on the blanket draped over the two of them, but he picked them up dutifully and popped all the pieces back into his open mouth.

Cosima swatted at his hand when he tried to feed her pieces of popcorn, but he was persistent. She gave up and he ended up alternating between sprinkling popcorn in his and her mouth.

His childish side was infectious, and Cosima tried to push back the knowledge that reverting back to acting like a child was a coping mechanism for trauma.

He was incredibly strong for being able to push all of the obstacles he had to face so early on out of the way. Sure, fighting back hadn't been easy for him, but he came out stronger. Even if he didn't see it, he was so incredibly good. The traces of a formerly angry and hopeless child had vanished almost completely. The image of him hurting and seeing no way out was gut-wrenching and she just wanted to hold onto him forever and protect him like a shield. Subconsciously, she moved closer to him.

Awsten's eyes were transfixed onto the TV screen, but Cosima's were wandering around until she got hung up on a card that was sitting on top of her dresser. It was an invite.

"This might be a weird question, but... would you mind attending my cousin's wedding with me?", Cosima asked.

She had been putting off finding someone to go with ever since she received the invitation six months ago. It was for her and a plus one, with a pre-booked hotel room for two. She had come to terms with the fact that she would probably have to drive up to Austin by herself, because it really wasn't an issue. She wasn't super close with her cousin, so she wasn't offended when she had sent her an invite for two. But Cosima had forgotten to let her know that she would be coming alone, and so everything was booked calculating one more person that there actually would be. Now, it wasn't as much of an issue. It would be worse if it was the other way around and there would be one more person attending than registered. But, leaving Houston for a weekend and attending a wedding party was fun. So, Cosima wanted to at least give a shot at asking Awsten to be her date.

Of course, it wouldn't be like a real date, he would just be her wedding date. Same thing if she had just asked Grace, she would have called Grace her wedding date as well.

Awsten looked a little puzzled, "When?"

"Next weekend...", Cosima murmured.

"That's so soon! But I think I'm free? That's a huge compliment that you want to take me out of all people."

"I mean- you're nice? You're well-spoken and neither Grace or Otto have time to come. And I'm not as close with the others.", she half-lied. Of course she was close enough with everyone else, but she would prefer taking Awsten.

Awsten raised his eyebrows questioningly, "So I wasn't your first choice? But at least you think I'm well-spoken."

The corners of Cosima's mouth twitched in amusement, "Yeah, you weren't because I received the invite six months ago. Besides, it would be really awkward to take either Otto or Grace, since they're in a relationship. With each other, might I add."

"Okay, okay. That's fair. I appreciate that you would even consider me. When and where do we have to be?", he grinned and laid an arm around her shoulder.

"The wedding's in Austin on Saturday, the 26th. My cousin booked a hotel room for Friday and Saturday night and I think she's having a BBQ Friday evening. So we should leave Friday afternoon.", she concluded while looking up into his face.

Her breath got slightly caught in her throat as she admired his facial structure. Her conversation with Jawn was reverberating in the back of her mind. She mentally scoffed at herself for only calling him a tiny bit attractive, when in reality he was a huge chunk of attractive.

As she became more aware of him and his stunning features, she couldn't ignore the position they had found themselves in. Cuddled up on her couch, under a cozy blanket, legs intertwined and his arm around her shoulder.

Awsten noticed that she was zoning out on him and nervously cleared his throat.

"That's fair, consider yourself lucky that my schedule is already cleared. I had to work a bunch this and last week, so I have next weekend off."

"Perfect.", Cosima grinned and laid her head on his chest to resume watching the movie.

After the credits rolled, Awsten was ready to go home and sleep off whatever thoughts were still racing through his head. There was a weird mixture of childhood-trauma and cheesy feelings for Cosima and it made his brain hurt. She made sure Awsten was good to go home and be alone during the night. She offered him that he could text her if anything came up. He was grateful for it, but insisted that he was fine.

As soon as Awsten was out of the door, Cosima pulled out her phone.

[Textmessages between Grace 🎈 and Cosima 🤍]

I may or may not be taking
Awsten to a wedding.

WHAT NOW

*****