physiotherapy | awsten knight

35: the quiet

tw: forced throwing up (if you struggle with an ed, please skip the part in ***)

January 30th, 12 weeks after the incident

Cosima wanted to pick up classes again. But the amount of work she had missed out on due to her injury, was proving to get the better of her.

However, she missed the academic validation. More than she would admit to anyone. She also missed the structure that going to class gave her. Granted, she had probably overloaded herself in the past — with university and working 20 hours a week.

It had given her such natural structure though, she didn't even have to think about what she could do next. It had simply been impossible for her to get bored, or worse — allow her to overthink.

Going back to work was still out of the picture though. Her new doctor had advised her against it, since walking up and down several stairs continuously for 5 hours could simply not be good for her. She had gotten a metal knee brace recently too, because her old doctor had done a shit job by skipping that part and going straight to trusting a piece of tape to support her.

It actually had been Roscoe who had made the first concerning comment. He had recommended her a doctor from the hospital he worked at. She had listened and it had proved to be a good decision. Her new doctor had cursed out her old one when she showed him her knee and told him her complaints.

She still wanted to pick up going to classes again regardless. She craved to have a different activity other than Awsten. Granted, spending time together came natural to them. They loved talking to each other, they could never get sick of listening to whatever the other had to say. And since Cosima's mind had recently begun to wander to worse places again, Awsten's reassurances were needed very much. To be fair, her mind had never really stopped wandering, ever since it started, but the voice in her head had just been becoming louder and louder. It was getting harder to ignore it more and more each day.

This had lead to more fights between Awsten and her. It was mostly about Cosima closing up on Awsten, and him
not being able to handle to be shut out, seemingly out of nowhere.

He could only handle being a certain amount of empathetic at a time.

These fight usually wouldn't last long. Cosima would feel guilty pretty soon and crave his validation again and Awsten couldn't stay mad at her for longer than a couple hours at most, mostly out of fear of losing her forever. They were each other's better half, even if it that meant not taking the time to cool off by themselves.

Currently, Cosima was sat at her desk, reading through notes that Otto had dropped off earlier. They were from their developmental psychology class. She had missed over a month worth of lectures and the amount of work she had to catch up on, started to dawn on her. She already felt overloaded with the amount she had been given her for one single class. The thought of having to catch up on 5 more classes was giving her a headache.

Meanwhile, Awsten laid spread out on his back on Cosima's bed, softly plucking on his guitar. They weren't talking, but simply enjoying being around the other. However, the noise coming from Awsten's guitar didn't help the mountain of stress that was piling up inside of Cosima's head.

"Aws.", she spoke up, feeling irritated.

He didn't hear her though and continued to lightly strum.