The Boundaries of Abyss

Kabanata 29

Ito ang ikalawa sa pinakahuling kabanata. Astrelle will always be my first love. She has allowed me to write her thoughts in my happy and fun days, more on days when I feel nothing. I would always be grateful for her. I hope you enjoyed reading her story and understood her way of loving. In time... may we also get the peace of mind we deserve. The twenty-ninth...

Always

Everything that was happening between Hedeon and I felt fast. I was still hesitant but... I wanted to believe in his love for me. I know I still love him. I'd be lying to myself if I say that I can get over him that quickly.

Pero mukhang ako ang nagmamadali sa aming dalawa. I thought he was going to invite me for lunch or something... like a date. Pero ngayon ay binabagtas ko ang daan pauwi ng bahay ni Papa samantalang siya ay nakasunod sa sasakyan ko.

It reminded me of the time when he tailed me, too. Noong nag-overnight kami.

I suddenly wondered when did he start liking me. Hindi ko naman iyon tinanong sa kanya rati dahil sa tingin ko ay hindi importante. But it made me curious now.

If I think of all those times that we interacted, puro problema ang dinulot ko sa kanya. I lost my bracelet that led me to him. I lost my key that led me to him...

Kahit noong nasa bar kami ni Cara at muntik nang mabastos ay naroon siya para sa akin. It felt like I was a damsel in distress that had always needed a saving. At siya lagi ang naroon. Para sa'kin.

I didn't really want a man that time. Pero dahil sa kanya, ginusto ko.

So, why wouldn't I give a chance to a love that I never really wanted or needed... but was given by Him?

I know that I fell not for his oh-so-good physical appearance. Well... I was drawn, at first. Pero noong nakilala ko siya ng mas higit doon ay hindi na iyon naging mahalaga.

I loved and love him for everything he is and he is not.

"This is ridiculous," binubulong-bulong ko. Hindi makapaniwala na tinatanaw ko na ngayon ang sasakyan niya paalis ng bahay ni Papa.

Inihatid lang talaga niya ako! No goodbyes or see you soon!

He just beeped his car! Kumaway lamang at humarurot na paalis!

Nakita ko si Ris na nanonood ng movie. Kumaway siya noong nakita ako.

"Ang bilis mo naman," panimula niya.

"Kinuha ko lang naman ang mga 'to," inilapag ko ang ginawang mga palayok sa lamesa. He inspected it. Pinitik-pitik pa at tumango.

For the whole day, I was waiting for a text. O kahit man lang chat. I visited his profile at parang nawala agad ang tampo ko dahil sa cover photo niya.

I was having my daily meryenda past four in the afternoon. Umalis si Ris at sinabing naboboring kaya't babalik na sa Metro. Babalik na lang kapag kailangan.

Papa's house seemed lonely. Mag-isa ko lang dahil umalis rin si Kuya Lukas. Pati si Papa ay umalis para tagpuin ang mga kaibigan.

I was almost finish eating my cake noong pumasok si Manang sa kusina at naghahanda ng mga rekado.

"What are we cooking, Manang? Bakit ang aga niyo yata maghanda ngayon?"

"Inabisuhan ako ng Papa niyo na rito raw itutuloy ng mga kaibigan niya ang kasiyahan," ani Manang. Tumango na lang ako at napag-isip na tumulong na lang.

Alam ko namang magluto pero mas maganda kung mas maraming alam iluto. Na kahit bawang, sibuyas, at kamatis lang ay may mailuluto na akong masarap...