The Boundaries of Abyss

Kabanata 10

Hopeful

I wasn't able to sleep. Instead of buying dinner, I made myself busy by cooking. Pabalik-balik din ang tingin ko sa cellphone ko. Natapos na akong magluto but there was no call. I instead opened my social media to waste my time.

Most of my photos were dated back when I was in college. Napangiwi ako noong nakita ko ang mga picture ko kasama si Cara na sumasayaw sa bar at nag-iinuman. It's funny how the tables have turned. If I was the old Erel, I must be partying at some bar right now at hindi naghihintay ng tawag nino man.

I was just looking at the photos. Nalilibang ako hanggang sa makita ko iyong tagged photo sa akin kasama si Arden. We were sitting at one of the benches in our school. Nakauniform pa kaming dalawa habang nakaakbay siya sa akin. May reviewers pa ako sa hita ko.

I haven't really heard from him since our last interaction at the pub. I did not contact him after that anymore, nor did he. What I just know now is that he's back in California. Totoo nga ang sinabi niyang hindi ako guguluhin. I clicked on his profile at puro tagged photos lang 'yon.

I've always had trouble in deleting pictures. Lalo na iyong mga picture na kitang-kita ko kung gaano ako kasaya. There were times when I'll think of deleting it, pero sa huli ay hindi ko rin lang itutuloy dahil nasasayangan ako.

Pictures give me the feeling of nostalgia. That feeling hinders me from deleting anything that could remind me of the time wherein I was happy. But I realized that pictures also make me yearn for something I cannot hold onto anymore, so why would I not delete it?

Oo nga masaya ako doon sa litrato pero hindi ako masayang makita 'yon.

I untagged myself from the photo. It was taken by a friend kaya hindi ko 'yon madedelete.

I got tired of scanning my social media kaya I just looked at my photos in my phone. Napatawa pa ako dahil mukhang pinaglaruan ni Theo ang cellphone ko. Punong puno ng litrato niya at may video pa siya kanina sa ospital.

The next photos were my shots during my camping trip. Natutuwa ako lalo na noong nakita ko 'yong blurred na kuha niya sa akin at ang blurred din na kuha ko sa kanya. I ended up uploading my blurred photo and one of the scenery I took.

I logged out immediately when people started commenting. Private naman 'yon but I really didn't want to draw attention, lalo na't matagal-tagal bago ako nag-update sa social media ko. That photo is just too beautiful not to share.

I went back on my photos and watched the hyperlapses that I took. Nagulat ako noong nakita ko 'yong sunrise na hyperlapse. It started black but ended with two people having their coffee while watching the sunrise! Nahagip pala kami ni Hedeon doon?

I remembered how I asked him which is better. Kung sunrise ba or sunset. And how we both answered that it doesn't matter and how my coffee would taste the same. But right now, I think I like sunrise better.

My heart jumped when my phone rang. On the screen was Hedeon's name! It felt weird seeing his name on my phone. Napatagal yata ang pagtitig ko dahil nawala ang tawag bago ko pa masagot.

My phone beeped. It was from Hedeon.

Hedeon:

Hey, this is Hedeon. I was calling you but I guess you are still sleeping. I'll call again later.

Of course I saved your number! And I am not asleep! Hindi ko lang nasagot agad dahil sa kakatitig ko sa pangalan mo... But of course hindi ko sasabihin na mahigit isang oras na akong naghihintay ng tawag mo.

I waited for a few minutes before I replied. That way, iisipin niyang tulog talaga ako at hindi naghihintay ng tawag niya.

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