I Want What You Have - l.s

Chapter 2 - Louis

Holy shit.

Harry is gay.

HARRY IS GAY?!

Oh jeez what does this mean?! This shouldn't be a big deal right?

But it is. It feels like Louis finally went out and got glasses after being used to seeing the world slightly blurry for so long. Now everything is shockingly clear.

Louis follows behind his mates as they make their way down the hallway to get to their next classes. He still feels stunned from their conversation during lunch. He wants to talk more with Harry about it but he doesn't know how. Usually Harry is the one person that he has no problem talking with, but all of a sudden he can't stop staring at his perfectly rosy lips. The way that they curve up slightly in the corner when Harry is trying not to smile. His favourite is when he manages to get Harry to smile or laugh so wide that his dimple is on full display.

Oh God why is he thinking about this? Louis stares down at the floor so no one sees the red that is sure to be on his cheeks. Harry is one of his best mates. They're friends. Best friends. That's all. That's enough. More than enough.

"Oof." Louis bumps into someone's back due to being lost in his thoughts and staring at the ground. "Sorry, mate."

"Hehe it's okay, see ya later Lou." Louis feels flustered that he was so deep in thought about Harry, he hadn't realised he'd just run into him.

"Ye- yeah. Bye." Louis chokes out. He cringes at that before briskly walking away, taking all these confusing thoughts as far away from Harry as possible.

---

Louis blinks his eyes open at the sound of his alarm. He groggily gets out of bed to turn it onto snooze and then dives back under the covers. It doesn't matter though. Now that he's up, thoughts of Harry have already trickled back into his mind. It's all he's thought about since Harry came out to him. He doesn't think it's very normal for him to be thinking about this so much. He just can't help it though.

Louis has always felt something more for Harry than the rest of his best mates. He always thought it was just because they had a closer connection with each other than the rest of the lads. He's never felt this way with any other boy though, so it can't be more than just platonic feelings.

Ugh. There's no use in lying to yourself. No matter how much you tell yourself one thing, the truth still lies in the back of your head and it's impossible to ignore.

Louis lets himself... consider it. The truth. Just for a moment.

He thinks back over the years. To be honest he's probably always had a slight thing for Harry. They've just always been best mates and he figured nothing could come of it so he shoved it into the corner of his mind where it couldn't escape. Course now Harry has admitted he's gay and that stupid corner exploded, extending to every single crevice in his brain. No matter how much he tries to scrub a part of his mind clean, the thoughts of Harry still lie just beyond his reach. It's starting to drive him a bit mad truthfully.

His snooze goes off again causing Louis to roll over and pull himself out of bed. Oh yay. Time to get ready and go pick up the one person that you can't stop thinking about, yet they have no idea. Louis walks over to his bathroom to get ready and brush his teeth. Yesterday he had tried to act as normal as possible around Harry, but he'd felt scared he would say something that might hint of what he was thinking so he just stayed quiet. Which, of course, just made Harry more suspicious since he wasn't being his usual loud, crazy self.

Louis sighs as walks out of the bathroom and stares at his wardrobe, trying to decide what to wear. Today is the first day of football tryouts. He needs to focus on that. Not whatever he is feeling about Harry because, in the end, it will never become anything more; Louis would never risk ruining their friendship. He finally pulls out some light-wash jeans and a white Adidas t-shirt that he pairs with his usual black, retro Vans. He throws footie shorts and a jersey into a duffel bag that already contains his other gear. Louis runs a hand through his already-styled hair before heading downstairs. He can't help but feel a little bit lighter after deciding to put his energy into football instead of continuing to let Harry-thoughts consume him.