I Want What You Have - l.s

Chapter 1 - Harry

Harry takes a shaky breath as he looks at himself in the mirror. He's gone over what he is going to tell the boys at least five thousand times. He meets his own eyes in the reflection. The jade irises stare back at him almost as if they're reminding him that what he's about to say doesn't have to change everything. He's still the same curly-haired, tall, lanky lad his friends have known their whole lives.

Harry thinks back to the summer, how good it had felt to call someone his boyfriend and to have people just know and be okay with it. He'd struggled with this part of himself all throughout secondary school, but now he has fully come to terms with what being gay means to him and finally feels ready to come out to his friends.

Louis, Liam, Zayn, and Niall. The same four best friends that he has known since they were 5. Well except for Niall who didn't move to England until they were all eleven years old, but by the time he became part of their group it had felt like they'd known him their whole lives.

Harry knows they'll be accepting, but he also knows it might change their friendships. They might see him differently for liking boys. It shouldn't be that way. Sometimes people just start to act differently once they associate you with something, they can't help it.

No.

His best friends know him better than probably every other person on the planet. You can't look at someone in a certain way for over a decade and then see them completely different after one little statement.

Right?

Harry studies his outfit in the mirror. His black, skinny jeans hug his newly toned legs which he paired with a black, Nirvana t-shirt and white Chuck Taylors. He doesn't want it to seem like now that he was admitting he was gay, he would start dressing differently to fit some stupid stereotype. He's still the same Harry that the boys last saw at the beginning of the summer.

At first, Harry had felt pretty disappointed that this would be the first summer that the boys would spend apart since they were going into Year 2 (probably), but now he feels excited to hear about everything they've done. He thinks about the snippets he's heard from his friends over the weeks.

Liam had been busy with an internship at the House of Commons in London. Zayn had worked at an art store/studio in town all summer and was all-consumed in perfecting his portfolio to send to the best art Universities in the UK. Louis had spent half the summer in the south of France with his Mum and sisters and then he, along with his sisters, flew to Amsterdam to spend the rest of the summer with their father. And Niall??? Uhhh to be honest Harry wasn't exactly sure what Niall had done over the summer. They hung out for the first week and then he had said he was going to some golf course for the weekend and just never came back. Harry just assumed he went back to Mullingar in Ireland to visit his family for the rest. At least that's what he usually does over summer...

Harry's phone buzzes on his bed, snapping him out of his thoughts. Jaden's name lights up the screen:

"Good Luck! I'm proud of you no matter what. Don't worry about their reactions, remember you're doing this for you... xx".

Harry smiles to himself. Jaden had been a big help over the summer. They had worked together as counselors at a local Music Camp and Harry had been determined to explore more of his sexuality over the summer. Jaden had been all too eager to help him.

At the end of summer they both decided to leave it as a summer fling and simply remain friends. Jaden's a year older and is heading to Uni at UCLA in the states. Harry wasn't into the whole long-distance thing so he'd been very grateful when Jaden had recommended they just remain friends.

"Thanks. Wouldn't be able to do this without your help this summer. I'll let you know how it goes. x" Harry quickly types out as his phone buzzes again.