Broken inside

Chapter 21

●○●○●YOUR POV●○●○●

The last thing I remember about last night was being carried to bed by who I cant remember. When I woke up I felt a bright light beaming onto my face. Eventually my eyes opened and my eyes where blurry from sleep. I blinked and blinked until I could see clearly again. That's when I felt it. That extreme headache...the nausea oh god it hurt. I threw on some baggy clothes and ran to the toilet. Vomit was erupting out of my mouth. Vile. Disgusting. I am disgusting. I wiped my mouth and stumbled to the door trying to walk slow enough for my head to not hurt.

I opened the door to the front room to be greeted by everyone but Thor and Bruce. Where was Bruce. I thought back to last night. Oh yes I forgot. He went rogue. Their faces weren't their usual happy selves. Oh god what happened. I stumbled further in the room and looked at their expressions. They seemed. Sad. Even Sam who from last night didnt seem like a sad person. I shrugged it off and went to get a glass of water. "Hey does anyone have an aspirin?"I yell from the kitchen. "Uh top left drawer."Cap said shakily. What is going on. I grabbed my aspirin threw it in my water and walked to where everyone was sitting.

"Hey guys is everything okay?"I ask...really confused. They all just stare at me. God did I do something wrong last night. My dads gaze was almost harsh. "Guys?"I trembled. Natasha looked like she was going to talk but didnt. Wanda sat up and spoke. "Bucky told us what you had been doing to yourself." She said. I frowned and looked at Bucky. Then it dawned on me. Someone carried me to bed and it was obviously Bucky I got undressed and fell asleep. Shit. My eyes widened and I felt a lump in my throat. "Guys I uh dont know what you are talking about."I lied my voice wavering slightly. "I think you do." My dad said quickly leaning forward grabbing my sleeve and pulling it up.
"DAD GET OFF OF ME." I protest. He didnt. "Dad please get off."I felt tears falling down my face. I looked around to see them all staring at me. They probably hate me. "This is what y/n has been doing...did you get bored...did you want some attention?" Tony announced. My breath was caught in my throat. How could he say such a thing. I was trying to hide it. "I should have killed you when I had the chance." I said angrily though my teeth. I yanked my arm away and ran to the elevator.

I got in as quick as possible and shut the door. "FRIDAY take me too the roof." I said trying to bite back the tears I knew weren't going to go away.
"Are you okay Miss Stark your heart rate has gone up drastically?" FRIDAY asked. "I am fine can you just take me up please and lock the elevator door while I am there." I asked. There was my fall back option. If things dont work out I always have my fall back option. Haha funny pun y/n hilarious. I mean no one would really want or need me here anymore anyway so what's the point. The way I see it is death is inevitable in some way or another the concept becomes better when we start to welcome it.

The doors opened breaking me from my thoughts. New York. It truly is the city that never sleeps. But I will for a long time. Peace at last. I walk to the edge of the building and stand there ready to jump when I heard Bucky.
"Get down doll." Shit I thought I told FRIDAY to lock the door. I turned around to look at Bucky. "You know I heard a really smart person say something he said 'falling is just like flying but just with a more permanent ending' beautiful really isnt it I finally get to fly."

I leant backward and let myself fall. Finally I was free from the pain. The hatred I could leave finally. Bucky. Oh god I would have to leave Bucky. I looked to the ground and Braced readying myself for the end when I felt a pain of metal arms around me. Shit. Tony caught me. "WHY DID YOU CATCH ME?" I screamed trying to squirm out of his grasp. It was clear it wasnt going to work.

He flew back to the tower and set me down. I glared at him as his suit disappeared from around him. "Why...why didnt you let me die?" I shouted at him pushing him ever so slightly. Before he could answer I went inside to find Bucky. I was going to give this man a piece of my mind. I stomped up the stairs to our floor which he obviously returned too after finding me on the building. Range courses though my body. Why would he tell them. I saw him sat on the couch watching tv. I think he heard me because he got up and looked at me. I walked up to him as innocently as possible. When I finally got close enough he opened his arms expecting a hug only to be greeted by a punch to the nose. He stumbled back gripping his nose. "WHY DID YOU TELL THEM,"I yelled,"YOU COULD OF JUST TALKED TO ME." I started walking closer. Once he regained his stability I punched him again in the chest. I hated doing it dut I needed to.

Before i could punch him again he blurted out, "BECAUSE I LOVE YOU."
What the fuck no he cant love me I am damaged. "If you loved me you would of let me die." I say walking off but before I could leave properly he grabbed my wrist. "Y/n from the first time I set my eyes on you I fell in love. You were kind but funny and when we put you in a cell you held the gun up too your stomach and I was just so shocked by your actions I mean you held a gun up to your stomach when you could of  shot me or steve but you didnt but I knew from then on I would do my best to take care of you. When I saw you throwing up in the toilet that one time I knew what was going on and it hurt so bad when you asked me why I care. Because I care too much. I would do anything to keep you safe. It really hurts to see you do this too yourself. So yes y/n I am utterly. Stupidly. Incredibly in love with you." I stared at him not fully knowing what to do next. Without thinking I pulled him by the collar of his shirt and pulled his lips onto mine.

"I am in love with you too." I say pulling away from the kiss.