Broken inside

Chapter 24

The next few weeks were good me and my father rebuilt our relationship a bit more and Bucky and I were so close. I was improving with eating. There were good days and there were bad days but that is to be expected right? But Bucky was incredible he helped so much but not in a forceful way he allowed me to go at my own pace. One day I actually ate a cookie it was difficult as it was a fear food but I did it and it felt. Good. I still had impulses to self harm but I didnt and it was going well.

This morning I woke up to a sound asleep Bucky. His head was nestled into my chest (not in a sexual way) and it was incredibly peaceful until...

All of a sudden the door burst open revealing a very excited Wanda "WE ARE HAVING A POOL PARTAAYYY." she yelled at the top of her lungs. I mentally rolled my eyes at her excitement but I had to admit it was quite sweet. She was about five years younger than me so I didnt mind her acting on the childish side. Hold up did she say pool party. Shit my scares.
I had to think of an excuse. "Wanda I dont have a swimming suit."I said silently praying I didnt have to wear one. All of a sudden I felt Bucky move...I dont think Wanda noticed our position until he moved. A smirk instantly grew on her face as we hadn't told any of the avengers yet. "YOU OWE ME 20 BUCKS."she shouted behind her.i heard a faint 'shit' being spoken behind her. It was obviously Nat.

Bucky had fully awoken and jumper back surprised Wanda was there. "I- uhh I um here you go." Wanda carried on. I think she was a little uncomfortable. She ran out of the room quickly and left me and Bucky to look at eachother. All of a sudden we burst into fits of laughter at Wanda's poor little face. That's when I looked down to the swimsuit or should I say bikini.

I think I let out an audible response of being nervousness because Bucky shot up and engulfed me into a hug comforting rubbing my back. He knew this was a big deal to me. I knew I had to do it i cant hide away forever. Oh god they are going to think i look gro-- no y/n stop it just try. I pulled away from the hug to get dressed in the bathroom. Yes me and Bucky were dating but like the whole naked thing i wasnt quite ready for. I stripped my clothes off and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked healthier but i still felt fat. My hips started to fill out and my boobs definitely got bigger. I still felt a bit sort of monstrous . That is what I thought I looked like. I slipper on the bikini but all my body could do was shake with nerves. Luckily I shaved the night before and i didnt cut myself I had never felt so proud. As my body kept shaking I heard a knock at the door. "Hey doll I'm going to join the others by the pool Nat told me to give you this to put over your bikini if you feel uncomfortable...its outside your door okay?" Bucky spoke though the door. "Okay."I replied.

Once I knew Bucky was out of the room I opened the door to find an outer robe looking thing.

It was truly beautiful but I knew if I was going to get through my fear of being seen I had to do just that. I didnt bother putting it on I just draped it over my arm incase it became to much later on down the line. I released a breathe I didnt know I was holding and left the comfort of my bedroom.

☆☆☆☆BUCKYS POV☆☆☆☆

I couldnt help but worry for her she had only just recently started getting on the right track and now she is being pushed into the deep end. I was sat on a sun lounger between Steve and Nat who were just googling eachother the whole time. As much as they hate to admit it there is something happening there. My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Steve say. "Do you think she do it?"Steve asked Nat. "Of course she will she is a strong woman and she has her little prince by her side." Nat winked at me. There was some new people this kid called Peter and someone called Scott...honestly he was a huge goof ball him and y/n would get along.

My thoughts were interrupted again by a little gasp from the spider child I looked over to him who looked at y/n. Oh god he didnt know about her scares. "She shes beautiful."he stuttered. She truly was I hadn't had time to study her when she was drunk because well she was drunk and had scares all over her body. I didnt even realise my mouth was agape until she started chuckling. No one even took a notice of her scares they were just happy to properly see her.

Then she did something so unexpected she ran up to the pool and dived perfectly her back arching as she came to the surface. She was truly beautiful and her new found curves made her look incredible but then again she always was I just never saw. Everyone in the pool stared at her which was Scott, Peter and Wanda. To be honest I was kind of jealous. Eventually she looked back at me with a smirk on her face. I knew she felt good for once and that made me feel good. Before I could get up and join her in the pool I felt a hand on my shoulder. Tony. Shit he was probably going to give me the 'hurt my daughter and I will break your face talk' which he did.

"Heyy Buck... so you and my daughter her...I just wanted to say if you break her heart...it will be more than just your arm made out of metal." He said in his usual manner. Which actually made it more intimidating but before he could say anything I released myself from his grasp and jumped in the pool with y/n.

~~~~Y/NS POV~~~~

I felt brilliant. Beautiful. Fantastic but now I was in the biggest debate of my life. "Footloose was not a good movie."Peter said looking between me and Scott... I think we will be good friends. "WHAT what are you talking about it's an amazing movie." Scott argued back. "Sorry Peter I agree with Scott...I watched it with Buck the other day and it was really good." I back up Scott. He high fives me which confused me...I have never done that before. Saving us from another debate Bucky jumped in the water causing a wave to splash over me. I resurface and look at Buck with a playful glare. "Oh too can play at that game." I splashed a huge wave at him back.

We play fighted like children splashing and thrashing around while the others were reading or relaxing. It wasnt much of a party but it was still nice. Then Bucky picked me up. I knew what he was gonna do next. "Bucky if you throw me you get no more cuddles for the day." I smile at him. His face lowers a bit. Before he threw me he placed a loving kiss on my lips earning a few 'whoops' in the background. He then proceeded to throw me across the pool leaving me flailing. He actually did it. Once I got back to the surface Bucky was there again laughing at me. Aha a plan. We had been training over the weeks and Nat told me a trick.

I went up to him to kiss him but quickly bought my legs up and twisted him to the floor submerging him." THATS MY GIRL." Nat yelled. I laughed as Bucky came back on with a fake pout on. "Doll can that be payback I want my cuddles late?" He asked innocently. I nodded my head and he wrapped his strong arms around me again."GET A ROOM."Clint yelled. "GOOD IDEA." I yelled back. Bucky looked back at me wide eyed and then smirked.