Trials and Tribulations - [Bensler EO]

Part Twenty Five - Dear Elliot

It's half past midnight when she starts to pack her bags. She knows that she shouldn't have procrastinated as long as she has and that she probably needs sleep. But her anxiety had kept her from eating all day and she was starting to feel the pain of hunger that she could do nothing about. The longer she laid in bed, rolling pointlessly around, the more time she was wasting.

What exactly she was wasting by letting time pass, she wasn't sure.

She wasn't even sure of what to pack. It wasn't like it was a goddamn vacation. It was a few days in the hospital, followed by God only knows how many more days in the same hospital. Uncomfortable beds and scratchy gowns.

Packing for a trip she might not return from.

Even her washed clothes now smelled like that hospital. She'd tried to wash the scent out a hundred times but no amount of scrubbing could clear away the stench. After the 7th cycle, she'd given up and submitted to the fact that this was now just a given in her life.

Hospital smell. Hospital food. Hospital beds.

When she opened her dresser, the gold badge on the top layer caught a glimmer of light from the lamp. The reflection shined against her eyes, a motion that usually lit her face up and made her heart swell with pride. No longer. The clip hadn't been latched to her belt in a while and all that was left was the reminder of who she once was. Untouchable, unstoppable.

She held the badge in her hand, her thumb carefully and gently tracing over the engraved numbers.

"Liv," he murmured.

She glanced up and saw him leaning against the doorframe. A sad and solemn look on his face. She'd forgotten that he was even there. Carefully tucking the badge back into the drawer, she turned to face him.

"You should be sleeping." he said, no real accusation or disdain in his voice. Maybe disappointment, but mostly emotional exhaustion.

She remained just as emotionless, staring directly into his eyes as if they were magnetically pulled to hers. Oddly, she saw something similar within him that she had seen staring back at her in the mirror. A question or two, lingering and hanging over their heads. How the hell did they get here? How were they gonna get out?

"I couldn't sleep." she answers, her half-assed reply coming along with her turning away from his gaze. "I forgot to pack my bag, I didn't want to wait until morning."

His head slowly bobs and his grip on the doorway releases. Her eyes had fallen to the floor but begun to follow his feet as he toed further into her room. There is no awkwardness, no fear of crossing any unspoken line. They're both far too tired for any of that.

She hears the creaking of the springs in her mattress as he sits on the edge of the bed, her back facing him. She isn't in the mood to have a conversation, big or small. She wants to relish the alone time she still has with the beige walls and carpeted floor before its all teal tiles and sheet vinyl flooring. But there isn't much comfort left in her own home to draw from anymore.