"Liv? It's me, Casey. Are you home?" the persistent sound of knocking pulled Olivia out of her reverie. She was staring hazily at the television, which wasn't even on. Her phone was on the coffee table, receiving unread texts and unanswered calls for two days straight as it buzzed against the glass top. Her discussion with Cragen must've gotten around.
That must've set off alarm bells with everyone.
"Liv, I know you're in there." she sighed, her head thumping against the wooden doorway from the outside of the apartment. "Please let me in, I'm really worried." Casey tried again. Maybe if she didn't move, Casey would go away. Maybe the whole world would go away too.
If only she were that lucky.
With what little energy she had left, she pushed herself off of the couch and trudged to the door. As soon as the barrier was gone, she saw the nervous expression on her friend's face. "Hey," she whispered as she let Casey follow her into her apartment. "Sorry I wasn't answering my calls." She didn't bother to give any other explanation. She was too tired to come up with some complicated lie about her phone being in a dead zone when it was still ringing right there in front of them.
"I'm just glad you let me in," Casey said with a breath with relief as she set down her briefcase. "You uh... you're doing okay, right? Did something happen? Elliot says he tried stopping by but you took the key out of the hiding spot so he couldn't get in." the A.D.A's eyes dropped to the floor, her stature like a dog with its tail tucked between its legs. "He's really worried, Liv."
Oh yeah, she had forgotten about that. She'd heard him knocking but she had swiped the spare key from under the plant as soon as she had called in sick. Two days of staring at the walls in silence... well, in an attempt of silence. The walls didn't ask her any questions or kindly pester her about how she was feeling or what was wrong. Why couldn't her friends be like the walls? Why couldn't they just sit and let her wallow in a cesspool of self-pity?
"I'm fine, really." Hell, that couldn't have convinced even the dumbest person on Earth. She could hear how effortless her own tone was. The exhaustion had been to blame for that, once again. What was the point of putting in the effort to get everybody to leave her the hell alone if it wasn't going to work? She didn't even bother with eye-contact to try to seal her words with a little more reliability. If Casey didn't want to believe her, that wasn't Olivia's fault.
They could all believe whatever they wanted to, she had stopped caring.
"Oh, well, if you insist," Casey deadpanned, sarcastically rolling her eyes as she crashed down onto the couch next to Olivia. Just like that, the room felt a million times smaller. From the corner of her eye, Olivia could see Casey shrinking into her shoulders uncomfortably. "You uh — you know you can talk to me, right?" she asked, sounding heartbreakingly sincere. The crackle in her raspy voice sent lightning bolts to Olivia's tear ducts.
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Trials and Tribulations - [Bensler EO]
FanfictionAfter an unexpected diagnosis, Olivia Benson is faced with both her greatest fears and greatest regrets. A ticking clock and a choice to be made, she fights to find a middle ground between the two. Along the way, the skies clear in the same directio...