An Open Sky

Chapter Forty ~Alexa~

Spices and garlic drifted up into my face as I consumed a well-prepared Italian dish that I couldn’t pronounce.

                Jay’s dad leaned across the table to me, “You want to know the secret to being a good author?”

                I nodded, pitying his attempt at a conversation. “Well,” he said between mouthfuls of food, “a magician never tells his secrets, but I’ll let you in on something.” He paused for dramatic effect. I could see Jay run his hand over his face, casting me a sideways grin when he’d realized I’d seen him.

                “Always jot down your thoughts on the notebook you should always keep with you. It helps you learn to quickly record your thoughts on paper.” He settled back in his chair as if he’d just won a prize.

                “Robert,” Jay’s mom elbowed him in the side, “I’m sure she doesn’t want to listen to you rant about writing. She’s here for a nice, family dinner; for Jay, remember?”

                I grinned at her apologetic smile. “Really Mrs. Belvin, I don’t mind.”

                She smiled at me, reaching over to grab my plate. “You’ve got a keeper there, Jay. I swear anyone who puts up with your father…” she mumbled, disappearing into the kitchen.  

                “Well,” Jay stood next to me, twining his fingers through mine, “we’re going to go watch a movie, okay?” He’d already pulled me halfway up the stairs before receiving an answer. “Sorry about that.”

                I laughed, “No worries, you know my dad; this is nothing.” A smile cracked his lips as I let him pull me into his room. I plopped down on the bed, swinging my feet like a child.

                Jay crouched next to his TV, pushing the DVD into the slot. I gripped the comforter on his bed, letting the rough fabric take me back to the hospital room, back to the shattered boy lying in the middle of it, back to the jagged, lumpy stitching that laced his flesh. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was me that had broken him.

                I jumped as Jay’s ice cold fingers slid across my back. He leaned toward me, black eyes searching me like I was as transparent as a window. “Are you okay?” His lips brushed my cheek. I shuttered. A frown clouded his eyes. “Maybe we should walk outside for a little bit. I think that’s a good idea, come on.” Before I could protest, he pulled me up.

                I kept moving forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. I kissed him. I knew he’d try to talk to me, to get me to talk to him. I didn’t want to. It was easier to kiss him than explain to him the feelings that were tumbling around in my stomach. The more I thought about it, the more I hated it. I hated that fact that there were no facts. I couldn’t decipher the feelings I had. I’d thought they were obvious, when really, I couldn’t have been more wrong.

                I kissed him harder, moving my lips against his. I let him wrap his arms around me, his energy filling my own body. “I’d rather stay in here with you,” I murmured into his neck.

                He stiffened, an action not currently for my own understanding, and pulled my shoulders to face him. “Me too,” his grin mirrored mine.

                I slid down to the floor, pulling him with me. He flopped with his cheek on the carpet, sliding himself over to the remote. Grinning at me, he flicked on the TV, immediately illuminating two dark figures. The figures were surrounding a well-built man, horror clearly painted across his face.

                Jay slid his arm around my neck. “Rumor on the street is that you like scary movies.” He leaned in to kiss me; I took in his body as well as the aromatic cologne that accompanied it.

                “Oh yeah? And where’d you hear that?” I smiled, tracing his shoulder blade with my fingers.

                “Well that depends,” he breathed into my ear.

                “On what?” I laughed.

                “Do you or do you not like scary movies?”

                “Well that depends,” I mimicked his tone, “is it a good scary movie or a bad one?”

                He laughed. “Well I guess that’s for you to decide.”

                I glanced to the TV, watching the figures melt into the trees that seemed to be the focus of the current scene.

                As Jay’s face blurred with the TV lights, I fought my mind from letting Aidan’s face replace it. I let my head sink into Jay’s shoulder. His arm looped around my shoulders. I wondered how different it would feel if he were Aidan. I pictured his arm a lot more cautious, gentler. His stitches would rub up against the nape of my neck. I wondered how different his chest would feel, how his breathing would sound, what pattern his heart would beat to.

                “I have an idea for tomorrow.” Jay’s words brought me back to him. Tomorrow…

                “Me too,” I said, “school.”

                He rolled his eyes. “You’re no fun. Ditch with me.” A devilish grin spread across his lips. “Come on, I know you want to.”

                I put on my best teacher voice. “You need a good education mister. School comes first. Without it, we’d be just like the apes. How are you ever going to get a good job if you skip school?” He cupped his hand over my mouth.

                “Relax. It’s like being sick and missing a day of school, but you’re not sick. Besides, it’s only one day. You talk like you’ve never done it.”

                I sighed. What harm is one day? “What’s your idea?”

                He smiled at my defeat. “So that means you’re ditching?”

                “Tell me your brilliant idea. Then I’ll decide.”

                “I was thinking canoe.” I stared at him. “You know like rowing, water; it’s a boat, but thinner.” He paused.

                “I know what a canoe is,” I said flatly.

                 “What? Bad idea?” He asked.  

                “No, I’ve just never canoed before.”

                “Great. So it’s a date.” He grinned.

                “Mmhmm,” I said, kissing him on the cheek. I was suddenly looking forward to tomorrow. I let my excitement cloud out my desire for Aidan. I let him sink to the back of my mind. I wrapped my arms around Jay’s chest, letting my heart slow to match his. Aidan was hidden, gone from me. Maybe this time he’d stay there.

                After all, I had Jay. He was all that mattered to me. He was perfect.