An Open Sky

Chapter Fifty ~Alexa~

I hadn’t prayed in years. I gave up praying when my mom didn’t magically come back to life.

                I prayed now. I prayed for my life. I prayed for Aidan to come in time. I prayed for us to somehow be together and that my dad would accept it. I prayed, pouring out my apologies for not praying in so long. I prayed that my life would be long; that my future would be secure. I prayed for kids, for a job, for love.

                I told God of my life plans, asking if they were to come true. Once I started I just couldn’t stop. The confessions, the tears, they poured out.

                We always used to go to church every Sunday. We were a good Christian family. When we moved to Melrose, it became a little harder. At least, for me it got harder. What used to be normal, I was suddenly being made fun of for. As a seven year old child, I didn’t understand how to deal with it, so I hid it. I hid my faith. I hid my family life. I didn’t have people over because I didn’t want them to see the crosses, to hear my parents speak about church.

                I became one of them.

                I still went to church. I still prayed. I always thought that God must’ve hated me for rejecting him in public, but begging to him in private. But that was my life. You either became one of them, or tried to fight against all of them at once. I was personally content with my secretive life. Life was going pretty well all in all. I went to crazy parties, got arrested once, but it technically wasn’t my fault. She was asking for it.

                Then the accident happened.

                My relationship with my parents was never strong. I think that was what killed me the most when my mom died. I left so much unsaid…It was even worse when I was asked to put something together to say for the funeral, and all I came up with was the little-kid response of: Well, she was a really great mom. She was always there for me and gave me good advice.

                My life slowly started to fall apart. Not just mine, my dad’s also. Neither of us could focus. I found myself waiting in a holding cell for a ride more often than I would have liked. I just fit in with the wrong group of people, but they made me feel like I could erase my problems, like nothing mattered when I was with them.

                My dad would have lost his job if his boss wasn’t such a great guy; not that shipping us to a town of ten people in Montana was much appreciated. We haven’t really talked since the morning of the funeral. We stick to small talk, no more than a few sentences, unless it’s a fight. Mom was really the only one that knew me anyways. She was one out of the hundreds of people I knew that really knew me. But not that it matters now.

                Jay shifted from across the room. “Don’t you sleep?” He was grinning, but I didn’t find it funny.

                I wiped my eyes. I must have been crying pretty loudly to wake him. “Depends,” I said flatly.

                “On what?” He sat up. I hated the fact that he could be so calm while I was sitting there fearing for my life, praying for my life.

                “Are you going to kill me today?” I meant to sound bold, sarcastic even, but the fear inside me shook my body and my voice.

                “No,” he growled, “I don’t want to kill you Alex. I’m sorry if you feel that way.” He crawled over to me. I made an effort of looking in the opposite direction. “Look, I really don’t want to hurt you. Alex, there’s just something about you…You’re different. I really like you.”

                “Then why the heck are you keeping me locked here?” My voice was hard. I wanted to scream a lot more at him, but my mouth wouldn’t open.

                “There’s something I have to do…” he trailed off, “and you have to help me.”

                I just stared at the wall.

                “I promise nothing will happen to you. You have to trust me.” His eyes searched for mine. I could feel them on my neck. I didn’t move.

                “Really?” My tears flowed with my words, “Just like you promised you’d never hurt me? Just like how you said you loved me? You locked me in a freaking trunk, a trunk Jay! You’re keeping me prisoner in a room! Why in the world would I trust you?”

                “Alex, you don’t understand…”

                “I don’t understand? Me? You’re the one that doesn’t understand Jay. Abducting someone and taking them to some remote building? That’s crazy! You’re crazy. And now you want me to do something for you? You’re more than crazy; you’re freaking insane.” I let out a short laugh, “Love? What kind of a sick joke is that? The funny thing is that I actually believed you.”

                “Alex…”

                “Just stop talking, okay?” I got up and walked to the opposite side of the room, where the sunlight couldn’t reach.

                “Fine.” He stood and grabbed his jacket. “Maybe you’ll have a different attitude when I get back.”

                I laughed.

                He shook his head and flew to the door. The hallway light seeped in as the door opened. “By the way,” he turned back to look at me. This time our eyes met. In them was an emotion I’d never seen in him before.

                “It wasn’t a joke,” he said. The door slammed behind him, once again locking me in the faint darkness.

                It gave me chills how seriously he had said it. My brain stayed frozen on his eyes.

                Desperation. It was desperation.