An Open Sky

Chapter Forty-Six ~Aidan~

She turned the radio down. “You’re insane, you know that?”

                I grinned, “But you showed up, didn’t you?”

                The truck slowed. “I could let you out right here. Is that what you want? I could get fired. I hope you’re happy.”

                My grin reappeared. I never thought I’d actually see Dani in her boss’s Mulch Delivery – We Come to You truck. I glanced back at her. I knew her job was important to her, even if the actual job wasn’t really all that important. “You’re right. Thanks Dani.”

                “What were you thinking anyways? Jumping out of a hospital window; you are so lucky I needed an ice pack for my lunch today.” She kept her head facing the road, but I knew she was glancing at me. Our last conversation was still in both of our minds.

                “Look, Dani,” I needed to get it over with. I knew the conversation was going to have to happen at some point, “I’m sorry, okay? I just – there are things you don’t know; things you can’t know. I’m sorry it has to be like this but I want you to be safe. I need you to be safe. Dani, you’re my best friend. You know me better than anyone, so you know I have to do this.”

                It made me nervous how she kept the silence. Finally, she turned her head toward me, still managing to keep the truck on the road. “Aidan, you don’t understand. Don’t you think I need you to be safe? I might be your best friend, but – Aidan this is going to sound crazy, especially because I hate you right now, but I love you, okay? And don’t even say anything because I don’t care if you do or don’t love me, whatever. But I’m always here for you, okay? That’s just what we do; we’re here for each other. If you go off asking to get killed, what am I supposed to do then?”

                She was crying. And I didn’t know what to say to make her stop. I didn’t know what to say to make me stop. I didn’t know what to say, period. So, I turned to look out the window. I honestly didn’t know. I didn’t know why I was going to go after Jay; why I’d give up everything for a girl, who hates me, but not stay and be safe with a girl that doesn’t. I didn’t know what she would do without me, because I didn’t know she needed me in the first place. At that point, I was starting to compromise everything I’d ever thought I knew.

                “Here?” She asked. We were nearing the house.

                I nodded, “Yeah, you can just drop me off at the end of the road. I’ll walk.”

                “Are you sure you don’t need anything for your shoulder?” She shot me a concerned glance.

                “No, I’ll be fine. Thanks for the ice pack though.” I slid the ice pack off of my shoulder onto the floor of the truck.

                “Keep it,” she said, “you might need it when it starts to hurt again.”

                “Thanks,” I mumbled, picking up the ice pack, “for everything.” The truck stopped, and I opened the door. I tried my best to slide out without giving her the impression that my shoulder still hurt unimaginably.  I turned to close the door to meet her eyes watching me, analyzing me. She knew the pain was there. I was never a good actor.

                “Be careful, please,” she mumbled before I closed the door. I felt her eyes on my back as I stumbled into the forest. I turned at the sound of her truck driving down the road. The realization hit me that that moment may have been the last time I’d ever see her, and I had left so much unsaid…

                I slid my hand under the mat and grabbed the key, as I’d seen Alexa do so many times before. I stepped into the front door, careful to lock it behind me. I made my way to the bathroom in search of any pain medication I could find. The last time I had been in the house was when Alexa was right beside me. It gave me a weird feeling, to know that she may never walk the hallway that I was walking ever again.

                I opened the cupboard above the sink and popped two different pain pills into my mouth. I turned on the sink and drank straight from the faucet to wash them down.

                I jumped straight up when the ringing entered my ears. The phone. Out of curiosity I made my way to it, not intending to pick up. I glanced down at the caller I.D.

                My heart skipped a beat when I saw the number.