An Open Sky

Chapter Eight ~Aidan~

She saw me. She wasn’t supposed to see me. Not yet. The image of her sitting there in the woods staring back at me still appeared like a movie on my closed eyelids. I shouldn’t have run away like that. Now I seem like a freaking stalker. That’s all I need.

I could’ve talked to her. But I panicked. As much as I wanted to turn back and go straight into the woods to watch her again, I forced myself to keep walking down the road. I shoved my hands into my pockets. I didn’t know where I was going. The wind pierced through my skin; my fingers were stiffening under the bitter chill of it. I let it take me; push me to wherever it wanted me to go. I was cold. But the thought of her kept me warm. Not necessarily of Alexa, but the thoughts that came back to me when I saw her face. The thoughts of Layla. Layla, oh Layla. Only if I could’ve gotten there sooner. I hadn’t thought about her this much for awhile. I thought I was finally getting over her. I thought I could finally piece my life back together.

But I was broken.

The wind died down, but I kept walking alone. I figured I’d circle around to her house and sleep in the woods again. No point in going back home. Is it even home if you feel so out of place there? If you feel so unwanted? What is home anyways? I didn’t get what made it so special.

I dragged my shoes on the cement as I walked. Home. The thought stayed in my head. Home. The word triggered other memories. Other forbidden memories that weren’t welcome in my mind, but broke in anyways. My dad’s rough voice cut through my mind like a knife. You’re worthless, Aidan. Nothing. You understand? You are nothing. You think she loves you for you? There was a pause before I nodded. You do? Ha. Well you’re a fool, Aidan, a fool. Why don’t you go and make yourself useful?

The word worthless echoed through my mind. He was right. Now he’s gone and I can barely even take care of myself. At least he wasn’t here to rub it in. He was broken.  Mom’s sitting at home, broken because he’s gone, and I’m alone, broken. Must run in the family.

I could see the woods come into view. Not just the woods, my woods. The woods that I called my home. It was going to be a cold one tonight, I could feel it. The sun was going down and the temperature just kept dropping.

I walked through the trees, knowing the exact path I always take, knowing each individual branch I would pass on the way. I ducked under one final branch and sat down against my tree. I felt safe here, like pain didn’t exist. It was the perfect place to let a heart heal.

I sat there for the longest time, watching the red-orange sky change to dark blue and then finally black over her house. Once the first star came out, I unrolled the comforter that was stored behind my tree, and laid it on the ground. I took a large pile of heavy, wool blankets and covered myself with them. I rested my head on my hands and gazed up at the stars that continued to appear above me.

This was the one spot that you could see directly into the sky. There was a hole in the woods, a clearing. No leaves, no branches to hide their beauty, just stars. Even though it was bitterly cold, I felt very warm inside knowing that Alexa, and all the memories that came with her, was only a backyard away.