An Open Sky

Chapter Thirty-Six ~Aidan~

I did all I knew how to do. I ran.

                I let the rain sting my face and wash away the blood. I let it soak me. I let the wind rip through me until my body was racked with chills. I let myself suffer. I deserved it.

                What was I thinking?

                I hated fights. I‘d always hated fights. What’s wrong with me?

                My mind repeated the question even though I knew the answer. I slammed the door behind me as I slid into the car Dale had gotten me. It was nothing fancy, just a silver Dodge Stratus that he’d gotten from a used car lot, but it was the most expensive thing I’d ever owned in my life.

                My hands were almost shaking so much that I could barely spin the heat dial. I bent in closer to the vent, examining my blue lips in the mirror.

                I looked as if I was headed to a Halloween party.  My eye was slowly blackening. I could barely see out of it from the swelling the accompanied my injury. I watched the blood drip from my nose onto the thigh of my jeans, melting into a dark brown on contact with the denim. The cut under the opposite eye seemed to be growing larger as the blood seeped out down my whitening face.

                I jerked away from the mirror. I was ashamed, not because Jay beat the crap out of me, or even the fact that I’d been as low as to attack him. I was ashamed of my inability to save Alexa. I’d been telling myself I’d save her, yet I’d only succeeded in driving her to him. She’d die, and it’d be my fault.

                I was suddenly sitting again at the table with Mr. Cohen. I dared to meet his eyes, taken aback by his torn expression, contemplating why he was losing her, and his determination not to. I was letting all of them down.

                I pressed my palms over my eyes. I was again in the cafeteria, watching Dani disappear into the hallway, her words still ringing in my ears like a siren.  Any girl would be lucky to have you, so don’t just go and throw your life away, okay…If you realize how insane you are before you die, and decide to change your mind, you know where to find me. 

                The pain in her voice stung me. It penetrated my skin, sending a whole new round of chills through me.

                I slammed on the gas, almost heading right into the car across from me.  I pulled onto the road, the rain blurring my vision, the voices of despair running like a song through my head. Their faces flashed before me so quickly I thought I might suffocate. My heart longed to escape my chest, banging against my ribs, tightening my lungs.

                I soon found myself gasping for breath. My fingers clung to the steering wheel, my veins practically bursting inside of me. I searched for some way to escape, any way to escape this.

                The lights blinded me as I was thrown into the steering wheel, my head cracking against the dash board. I closed my eyes.

                I was once again engulfed by the swirling wind, the glass falling like rain into my skin. As my body was writhing in pain, my mind carried me elsewhere, back to a song. The melodic guitar riff sounded through my mind accompanied by Layla’s soft, sardonic voice.

                 Lie still, cold, dark, and dreamless. I’m never far away, love. You’re there in my nightmares forever living in my lonely heart.