Trapped in fear as history repeats

6

TRIGGER WARNING this chapter contains graphic depiction and description of Sexual Assault, abuse, miscarriage, self-harm & suicide If this may be harmful for you to read, I highly suggest not continuing this story.

Meredith got home from school on a friday, she had cramps and felt the urge to go to the bathroom. She sat on the toilet and felt some kind of pressure, the cramps were getting so bad but she had no idea what was happening. She heard all kinds of fluids dripping out of her body, when she decided to watch she saw the toilet was full of blood.

Am I miscarring? Is there anything wrong with the baby? She would be 6 weeks pregnant by now, what if there was something wrong? She didn't even know if she wanted this baby but she didn't have the strength to call the doctor to make an appointment and talk about it.

She sat there for over an hour, she was pretty sure about what happened. She was miscarrying and she needed to see some kind of doctor to make sure everything is alright. She made an appointment at a local institute that helps young girls with their babies and pregnancies.

On the way to the institute she threw away her pregnancy test, she knew the baby was gone and there was no reason to keep it any longer.

In the institute they gave her some painkillers but it was a complete miscarriage so they didn't need to do any surgery to get it all out. She felt relieved that it was a complete miscarriage but she was still confused about how she felt about the miscarriage.

A few months later Meredith was doing worse. She was getting depressed. She wasn't happy, she had no goals and she shut her off from everyone. There was a teacher who suspected there was something wrong with her but she was too afraid to open up. She started planning a way out. A permanent way out of this horrible life, a life where she was a burden to her mom, a life where her father rather beated her up instead of taking her to any soccer games and a life where even her best friend wasn't to be thrusted.

She wrote a letter a few days ago, she was planning on taking an overdose of painkillers that night. Her mother wouldn't be home and she would finally be happy.

"Meredith, the answer on question 3?" The English teacher asked her

"Oh.. I.. I don't know" She said, she was distracted and had no idea what the answer was

When the bell rang, the teacher asked her if she could stay a little longer

"I.. I'm sorry, I was distracted"

"Are you okay Meredith?" The male teacher asked her

"I.. I'm fine" She said while giving a fake smile

"Meredith, to be honest I'm getting concerned about you. You seem to be distracted a lot lately-

"I.. Sorry"

"Meredith, I don't want to report this. I really don't but I want to show you I'm here if you want to talk about anything and it's okay if you don't want to"

"I.. Well.. Just some troubles at home and.. Yeah.. But nothing that can't be solved"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not.. Not now, I.. I need to go home"

"Okay Meredith, but know I only want to try to help you"

"Thank you, see you.. tomorrow" She said while leaving the classroom

"Bye Meredith"

Meredith went home, she ate dinner and grabbed the pills. She played one of her favorite songs on repeat and started to count the pills that went down her throat.

1

2

..

12

13

...

21

22

...

29

30

The box was now empty, her eyes were drooping, she layed down and sank into her pillows hoping she would never wake up again..

AN // This isn't the end, sorry if you hate me for this but I'll update tomorrow