reality isn't fun

life without kara

everyone left the hospital and they all went to karas apartment. when they got there sam was already waiting for them

"Sam?" lena asked walking in

"hey babe" Sam whispered. before Lena could say anything she started crying uncontrollably until her legs gave out. before she could hit the floor Sam caught her.

next Alex walked in and immediately Ruby ran over to her

"Hi auntie Alex" ruby said squeezing alex in a hug

"hey babe, how are you" alex said hugging back forcing back tears

"i'm okay. but mommy's been crying all day and she said that everyone would be sad today but she won't tell me why" Ruby said

Alex looked over and Sam with a look asking if she could tell ruby and sam nodded

"well you know how auntie kar was sick" Alex asked with tears in her eyes and big lump in her throat. Ruby nodded signaling to go on

"Well she was in the hospital and she got too sick so the doctors couldn't to take care of her anymore. they didn't know what to. so um they gave her a choice. she could get surgery but if the surgery didn't go well she would end up in a coma. and if she didn't have the surgery then she wouldn't have that long to live. so she chose not to have the surgery" Alex said

"no. she's gonna be okay tho right? some type of miracle is gonna happen and shes gonna be alright. she has to. she can't leave me. she can't" Ruby said looking at all the adults in the room with tears in her eyes

"Ruby. Kara's gone" Sam said walking over to Ruby

"no she isn't. she wouldn't leave me. This is just some sick joke you guys are playing on me right? Karas okay. she's always okay. tell me your lying. tell me this is just some sick joke. please. she wouldn't leave me." Ruby said sobbing into alex's shoulder

"i'm sorry babe she's really gone. i don't wanna believe it either" alex said crying into the hug

"who's gonna explain it to lexie?"

"i guess i have to don't i" lena asked wiping her eyes

"you don't have to. i can if you want" maggie proposed

"i would never ask you to do that"

"your not asking, i'm offering" maggie said with a smile

"thank you. everyone for everything" lena said with a sad smile

"didn't kara say she left a note under her mattress?" jonn asked

"yeah let's check it out" they all walked into karas room and looked under her mattress under the mattress there was a box with letters and a small box with inside

"there's a letter for everyone and this box has alex's name on it" sam said handing everyone a piece of paper with their names on it and handing alex the box

they all walked away from each other so they could read in their letter by themselves

" Alex. oh Alex. i don't what to say j don't know if there's anything i can say. this would be so much easier in person because you would know what i wanted to say and we would cry and hug it out.

that was the thing about us. you always knew when i was hurt, sad, mad, happy i don't know how but you knew,

and it made you so happy when you met maggie oh you were so happy and then thanks to you my daughter came into this world and you seemed so accomplished after she was born as if lena hadn't been pushing a human out of her.

these couple of years are the happiest i've ever seen you and i hope i didn't change that too much i hope you're still happy.

i couldn't say goodbye to you for the second time because i knew this time it'd be real,

so i just listened to you guys,

and i probably should've said something but i couldn't.

because if i said goodbye i would've wanted to fight harder but i was already in so much pain,

and it's painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go because you know their life won't be the same and i hope you can forgive me for leaving you because i am really sorry.

i would never willingly leave you and you know that.

lex no one has ever mattered to me more then you have,

you matter to me way more then you know.

therefore here this is the bracelet mom got me when we were kids and i never took it off because it made me feel safe and me feel like as long as i had it on nothing bad could ever happen. and i hope it does the same for you.

i love you lexie.

with all the love in my heart,
                      -kara danvers <3"

alex started crying and maggie walked over to her

"what was in the box"

"her bracelet mom gave her when we kids no one was allowed to touch it i promise you if anyone touched you were as good as dead"

"haha well we all know kara when something means a lot to her no one else can have it. especially with food and we all learned that the hard way" maggie said sitting next to kara

"i miss her so much" alex said crying into maggie's shoulder. "and you know the worst part missing her is selfish. wishing she was still here is selfish. she was in pain she was ready to go but i was wasn't ready to let go of her yet." alex said crying more

"it's painful to say goodbye to someone you don't want to let go, but more painful to ask someone to stay when you know they want to leave" maggie said holding alex

"i don't want to say goodbye. if i say goodbye it makes it real and i don't want it to be really. mags i really don't want it to be real i want it to all be a bad dream"

"well think of it like this; don't say goodbye, never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away, and going away means forgetting. and i'm sure you don't want to forget kara"

"wait did you just quote peter pan" alex asked with a laugh

"that's not the point" maggie said laughing. they spent the rest of the night like this with laughs. alex knows that's how kara would've wanted her to spend her life.

thank you guys so much for 1.1k readsssss it's literally means so much to me