reality isn't fun

the funny thing about goodbyes

it had been a month since kara died and alex was still yet to visit so maggie decided to visit her instead

"hey little danvers, sorry about alex i know she hasn't come yet. she's just in a lot of pain. we all are. we just miss you so much. i miss you so much" maggie said crying when she felt a gust of wind she swear if felt like kara was giving her a hug

"i just wish you could come back to us. um i brought you big belly burger and extra potstickers i know you loved them but um happy birthday kar" maggie said wiping a few tears as she got up leave she saw alex standing behind her

"i'll give you two a minute" maggie said and walked away. alex walked over to karas grace and sat down

"i'm sorry i didn't come before i couldn't work up the courage to.. i am so lost without you, kara i don't know how to live life without you. and it is so hard and i don't know to do it. i keep thinking that this is all just a bad dream and i keep trying to wake up but it doesn't work." alex said sobbing until a man walked up behind her

"hi i'm sorry to interrupt but you seen new to this" he said

"yeah i am" alex replied looking up at the man

"never lost anyone?"

"no one this important to me"

"who were they to you" he asked

"my sister. the one person i was supposed to protect in this world" alex said almost crying
"how about you? who are you here for" alex asked

"um my bestfriends two of them actually. natasha romanoff she was my bestfriend she killed herself thinking she would save the world if she did" the man said with a sad smile

"did it work" alex asked

" yeah in some weird complicated way. although i wish she were still here. but the world would be in bad hands if she hadn't"

" sorry to hear that. but you said two what happened to the other?" alex asked

"same thing. tony stark that ha he was always playing hero" the man said
"what happened to your sister"

"sickness. she had a bad tumor and refused to have surgery for it" alex said looking at karas grave "if you don't mind me asking how long ago did your friends pass"

the man knew he wasn't obligated to answer but he felt as if he could trust the mysterious women "a few years ago"

"did you ever get to say goodbye?"

"i got to say goodbye to tony then i had to watch him die in front of me. natasha tho? no i never got to say goodbye to her. her last words to me were 'see you in a minute' did you get to say goodbye to your sister?"

"yeah, i did. but it still hurts like hell"

"well that's the funny thing about goodbyes, they never stop hurting" the man said

"does it ever get easier?"

"no the pain never really goes away. it still hurts like hell every single day. i go to sleep knowing they aren't there and i wake up knowing i won't see them today. but still every night i go to sleep and every morning i wake up and live my life. i try not to think about them too much"

"aren't you scared of forgetting them"

"nope because i know i won't. no matter how hard i try there's no way that i could ever forget them. tell me about her it might help"

"she was the light of my life. i was two when we was born i wasnt allowed to see her when she was first born. i made her a welcome home card and ever since she framed it and hung it up in our shared room even though i told her she didn't have too

when i started middle school she was in fourth grade so i thought i was better then her i was always mean to her etc. it wasn't until she was in fifth grade that i actually started to notice that she was human, what i did affected her, so one night she was having a really bad dream and she was crying and tossing and turning all in her sleep. i woke her up and let her cry on my shoulder that night i slept with her while rubbing circles on her back

ever since then she's been my bestfriend. four years ago she met the love of her life and two years ago they had a daughter, lexie, oh my gosh she is the cutest thing. and she has karas crinkle which will cause her a lot of trouble when she gets older

kara had these ocean blue eyes and the best pout in the world. no one could say no to her no matter how old she got she was still the cutest thing ever but no ones cuter then lexie

then a few months ago me her and a few friends were hanging out when she ran to the bathroom and threw up i thought oh maybe she's just drunk. so i took her home and she threw up some more and her forehead was burning up

my moms a doctor so i called her and i'm guessing she realized what it was so i called my wife and her wife and the paramedics and they all came and got kara and i rode with her in the ambulance

then when she got to the hospital we found out she had a brain tumor. and didn't have that long to live. she had a choice she could have the surgery which would leave her in a coma or save her life-but that was very rare- or not have the surgery at all and just die slowly but peacefully and the choice was hers and she didn't want the surgery so no one forced her to have it

we all got to say goodbye but the worst part was telling her daughter her mom wasn't coming home or telling her niece that her aunt isn't coming home. she died last month and today's her birthday. this is the first time i'm seeing her and the first time i've talked about her" alex said she didn't know why she was telling this man about her sister but it just felt right

"your sister seemed like an amazing person"

"she was"

"i'm not gonna lie to you it doesn't get better it still hurts ever day but at some point you learn to live with it"

"thank you for everything"

"it was no problem. i should get going"

"oh wait i never got your name"

"steve, steve rogers" the man said holding out his hand

"alex, alex danvers" alex said shaking his hand

"it was nice to meet you danvers"

"you too" and steve walked away. alex faced kara again

"happy birthday babygirl. i love you so so much"