Where Ever you Go

..Chapter 2 - Anguish and Anger..

The wall was the only thing supporting Janus as his body shook and crumpled beneath him. His lungs seemed to betray him, no matter how much oxygen he attempted to pull in, it didn't seem like enough. What was going on? His husband had been kidnapped by people who knew him intimately. People who apparently knew him better than Janus had. Had Remus even been his actual name? Janus felt his throat constrict, his hands shaking as he attempted to push himself up onto his own two feet. It was a struggle, but he managed.

'Do not come looking for him, because I won't miss next time.'

The words rang in his head almost as loud as the gunshot, his eyes running over the small hole in his wall. He might have been a great liar, but that came from understanding possibilities and excuses, and there were so many better excuses for the small hole. Getting anyone to believe it was a bullet hole, in their idyllic suburban house, was going to be a long shot. He twisted his hands together, letting out a shaky breath. He didn't even have the wherewithal to enjoy his unintentional wordplay.

Instead, the man's voice echoed in his head. It had been cruel and cold. If he hadn't just shot a hole in their home, Janus' might have thought that the man who took his husband was impressive. For now, he was letting his fear seep into anger.

He took another steadying breath, slowly making his way to the kitchen. He turned off the stove and began to sort through the information in his head. He had a list of things that he needed to do now. The first thing was to figure out exactly who Remus was.

They kept calling him August, and Janus was inclined to believe that that might have been his husband's birth name, but that wasn't his name. Somehow that helped ebb the anger that had reared up when he realized how long Remus had been lying to him. Being called by a name that wasn't your own, and on top of that, Remus had obviously not wanted to leave. Instead, that moron sacrificed his happiness because he thought it would save Janus' life. He tsked, his husband had always been just a little bit of an idiot.

His idiot. Remus was his, and even if Remus had been lying to him, they had still made vows to one another. Those hadn't been a lie. Janus wouldn't let them be.

Making his way upstairs Janus looked at the pictures of all of their happy memories, scrutinizing them for deception. He had always thought he was a master of seeing through subterfuge, yet somehow Remus had been lying to him this entire time and he hadn't noticed.

Actually, he had, he just didn't want to admit it. There had always been something off about Remus. He hesitated when talking about his family, or his past in general. He changed the subject when Janus asked about anything from his childhood, but that was just how Remus was, constantly changing to new subjects that interested him more. Janus had been too smitten to pry and look for deception. Even when he did know something was wrong, he had chalked it up to uncomfortable and difficult conversations and situations. Not sharing your trauma was different than lying outright.

Well, the honeymoon phase was over, reality had sunk in. Even if Remus was a liar, Janus was going to get his husband back.

"Alright," He opened up the door to the bedroom. "Let's see if I can figure out who you actually are Remus Iscalia." His hands still shook but he decidedly ignored it as he began to tear apart the closet, hoping to find even a shred of information. If it had been him, Janus would have hidden a full explanation in a document that he would be sure Remus could eventually find, but Remus didn't plan. He had always been the spontaneous type.

Janus threw all of the clothes on the bed, tossing the shoes in that direction as well before he began to dig through the rest of the closet. He needed to find something, anything that would tell him their relationship hadn't been a lie.

The fear over almost being shot was relegated to the back of his mind, pushed back to be dealt with later. Instead, his anger came back full force. Why hadn't Remus told him? Did his own husband not trust him? He was building himself up into an angry spiral as he grabbed the next shoebox, intent on chucking it across the room, but it was too heavy. Shaking fingers opened the lid and everything melted away. His blood ran cold, and like the calming of a sea after a storm, everything stilled.

Inside were dozens of trinkets, small, unimportant things, leaves, pennies, even a piece of gum. For anyone else, this would have been the most confusing assortment of objects in the world but as Janus began to rifle through them he knew exactly what everything was. These were their momentos, trophies taken from each of their dates or special occasions. Remus had kept every gross little thing that reminded him of Janus. Any fear that their relationship had been a lie left his body, leaving hollow like a house that had long been vacated.

He fought the urge to cry, clinging to the box. He didn't have time to wallow. He needed to figure out who took Remus. He couldn't do this alone.

Reaching into his pocket he pulled out his phone, dialing his oldest friend. The cheery voice sent a wave of relaxation through him and he closed his eyes.

"Patton, I can't explain over the phone, but I need you."

"Everything okay Kiddo?"

"No, it isn't." His voice caught and he cursed inwardly, hating to show weakness even to his closest friend.

Thankfully, Patton didn't miss a beat, "I'll be there as soon as I can Jay. Just let me get my bag."

Janus nodded, though he knew that Patton couldn't see it. "Bring Sugar, I think this is going to be a long week."

"Is Remus okay?"

Janus choked at that, unable to hold it back. "No, Remus is gone, and I have to find him."

There was just a moment of silence before he heard Patton's voice again. "I will be there in less than an hour. Let me get my stuff together and I will call you from the car. Okay?"

"Okay, I can handle that."

"And I know you, Janus, go eat something."

Janus bit his lip. Normally he would retort that Patton wasn't his dad, but he couldn't right now. Instead, he nodded. "Okay, yeah, I'll eat and wait for you here."

If anyone knew how to find his husband, it would be his ex-intelligence agent best friend.

From the box of mementos, Janus pulled out a ring box shaped like a real heart. It was worn around the edges a little bit, but he slipped it into his pocket as he began to make his way downstairs. He needed to finish cooking and eat. He wouldn't get anywhere without taking care of himself first.

AN: You didn't actually think I was going to kill him off, did you?