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" THE DESPERATION "
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ROSIE OBSERVED THE BOY in front of her who was sitting down letting her take care of his injuries. The pair had been quiet the whole time they arrived to the Med-hut. Clint had walked out to check up on Nick as he assigned Rosie to help Newt. Rosie tilted his chin up to get a better look at his face and the evidence of the fight. She delicately thumbed away the streak of blood near his top lip saying nothing as she kept on examining. The girl pulled away for a brief pause, Newt felt a sensation in his stomach causing his heart to skip a nervous beat as she looked him dead in the eye.
Her voice soft and modulated asked him as she knew it wasn't just because Nick was bothering her, "why'd you do it?"
Catching him by surprise the boy shrugged his shoulders looking down at the ground as she had grabbed a wet rag, "built up anger, I suppose."
Newt received only a hum by the girl who lifted his chin again making him look at her. Rosie placed the wet rag cleaning up the blood from his face. "You were hit pretty bad." Rosie stated as she had cleaned him up.
The blonde boy chuckled trying to lighten up the mood, "you should see the other guy."
The girl rolled her eyes turning around to grab an ice pack, a smile formed on his lips when he saw the corners of her mouth quirked up. Rosie handed the boy the ice pack as he placed it on the bruise that was forming on his cheek as she sat back down on the chair. "I want to go home." Rosie blurted out quietly loud enough for Newt to hear. His eyes look down at her fidgeting with her fingers. "Whatever that place is. I don't want to be here."
Newt didn't know what to say. He had been feeling those emotions since the first day he's been here and it's been two years. A tear rolled down her face, her hand quickly wiping it away before letting Newt, who raised his thumb, to wipe it away. "I'm sorry." Newt whispered wanting to tell her the truth that it really doesn't get better. His mental health had been going straight down for the past few months. He was on the verge of falling. "We're going to find a way out." The boy placed his hand on her thigh and squeezed it to reassure her and himself.
"Can we talk, Newt?" A boy entering the room not hearing the conversation they were having. Rosie turned to see it was Nick.
Newt nodded standing up from the bed, "It'a going to be okay." He reassured the girl giving her a small smile before walking out with Nick to discuss the problem.
Rosie took a deep breath trying to hold in her tears, she didn't want to be here. The boy had reflected to her that he was on the verge, he didn't say it but his face did. The girl let tears form in her eyes and started rolling down her face. Her hands started to shake, the tips of her fingers feeling numb and sweat started forming on her forehead as she tied up her hair to feel less hot. The blood pounded in her ears. The sound of her heart started to beat faster. Her feet tingled, her vision became blurry. The girl stood up from the chair blinking a few times to let the water roll down her face to clear her vision. Her hands wiped away her tears as she walked out of the room, head down so no one could see her face.
The girl pushed her door open revealing the emptiness with only two sleeping bags laying on the floor. Shutting the door behind her, Rosie fell down to the floor leaning her head on the wall. The walls were closing in on her, her chest felt as if every breath she took, it would tightened up making her having the need to take her sweater off. Anything tight she wore, she took off. Rosie brought her knees up to her chest reminding her of the moment she was inside the claustrophobic box.
"Rosie!" The familiar sweet voice called out for her. Rosie didn't respond wanting to cry it out alone. From a far distance she heard familiar footsteps and a knock was heard on her door. She didn't get up to open it nor did she respond, something she quickly regretted. The door slowly opened, the tall boy entered to examine the room and turned to see Rosie hiding next to the door. The boy's heart sunk when he saw her as a crying mess. "Rosie," the boy whispered dropping to his knees not knowing what to do for her friend.
The girl shook her head the moment Ander tried to reach for her. He pulled away quickly his heart breaking every second he saw new tears form and drop down, "what can I do? How can I help?"
"Just," she gasped for air loudly Ander rushing up to his feet opening the door noticing she couldn't breath correctly. "Leave me alone." She added after.
"I'm sorry." Ander apologized before yelling as loud as he could for one of the Med-jacks. "Clint! Jeff!"
Ander sat back down sitting next to her as he watched her shake her head, "I wanna go home." The boy desperately wanted to hold his friend in his arms but he knew that in the state she was in, it was going to make it worse for her.
"Me too." The boy muttered holding back his tears to remain strong for his friend.
Jeff rushed in to the room with a young boy named Chris who had presented himself to Rosie last night at dinner. "What's going on?" Jeff asked as he saw the state Rosie was in.
"I think she's having the same attack she had when she arrived." Ander replied.
The boy scratched his head nodding, "take her to the room. I know what to do."
Ander turned to Rosie who shook her head not wanting to leave, "I need to take you."
Rosie did her best to push the boy away but with the lack of energy she had in herself, Ander was able to pick her up. "Let me go, please." She spoke feeling her mouth drying up.
The boy didn't respond to her as he followed Jeff inside and laid her down on the bed. "Get her something sugary, chocolate." Jeff stated as Chris rushed out to the kitchen asking Frypan for chocolate. The scrawny boy came back running with the only piece of chocolate they had. "It will help regulate your blood sugar." He added with one more thing in his hand, "take this, it'll help with the headache you're going to get soon."
Rosie sat up on the bed nodding doing what she was told as Jeff explained to her that she needed rest. The fight in the morning had probably triggered her panic attack and made it worse when she saw Newt bleeding. It just tipped her over to the edge. Jeff and Chris walked out to give her some time to rest but Ander stood still with his arms crossed.
"I know it wasn't my place, Rosie, but I didn't know what else to do." Ander explained scared that the girl was going to hate him for doing the opposite of what she asked him to do. "I got scared. I didn't want someone else gone."
Rosie shook her head the last sentence echoing in her brain, "it's okay Ander." Her mind wondering what he meant so she went for it, "what do you mean by you didn't want someone else gone?"
Ander dropped his eyes to the ground, his shoe played with the floor, "his name was Stephen. He passed away almost two weeks before you arrived. He got really sick and no one knew what to do. I was the last person he spoke to, telling me he hoped i'd be able to get out of here."
Rosie's heart sunk this time as she saw the sadness written across his face. The girl was realizing that everyone of these boys have or are going through the same thing she is. Most just hid their emotions really well, just like Ander. He had a goofy smile on his face almost every second of the day. You would rarely ever see him upset.
"I'm sorry for your loss." Rosie spoke throwing her arms around the boy's neck as he wrapped his around her back.
Ander shook his head, "just make me a promise?"
Rosie nodded pulling away as Ander dropped his arms bringing them back to his sides, "of course."
"Just don't die on me."
"I promise," Rosie replied without hesitation, "that goes for you too."
