I will recover.

At home again.

So when I got home, I wasn't exactly in trouble or off the hook. But I was really bored just sitting in my room. My mom decided she had to punish me somehow so no Netflix for me. And it's not like I could text Danny or any one from school since the school has those network blockers. Today just sucked.
In my mind what the kid said to me in PE kept replaying. I felt dizzy and I knew I was going to blackout. I couldn't stop it. I blacked ou--.

I woke up and the clock read 2:30. When I blacked out it was two. I was so scared to look at any direction on my body. But I have to. So I force myself to look at my body and I was not pleased. First off I was half naked, second off my thighs were bad. Okay so when I black out I don't just sleep like normal people, instead I lose control of my actions and hurt myself and when I come to; I can't remember anything. I wish I knew why this happened but I don't. To my left was a knife from the kitchen so I went ahead and hid that while I got in the shower. After I got out it was three so I quickly bandaged my leg and dried my hair and took the knife downstairs to clean. My mom wouldn't be home till six but Danny would show up with Shelby and Paul at three thirty. And it was almost three thirty and I was still cleaning the knife when I blacked out again. But this time was different I could see what I was doing but I couldn't stop. And soon enough I heard Shelby's scream and she rushed to me and started talking.
"You're blacked out aren't you? Okay come back autumn, come on! STOP!!" I just kept going and she ripped the knife out of my hand. Danny and Paul weren't there. At all.
I finally came to and when I did I freaked out. My bandages were off and I was making it worse. I ran upstairs and bandaged up again. And five minutes of silence went by between me and Shelby went by before she said:
"Why does this keep happening?"
I looked at her and I held her like a mother would a scared child.
"If I could stop it Shelby, I would. You know that." She looked up at me and we both began crying. Until she stopped and said:
"The boys went to the gas station to get some Netflix snacks." I nodded and we went upstairs and put on sweats and took off our makeup. Soon enough the boys came upstairs and me and Shelby stayed quiet and apparently that freaked Danny out.
"Are you guys okay?" Asked Danny. I guess that triggered me and Shelby's emotions because we started crying. Paul grabbed Shelby and held her and I got up and ran downstairs just for Danny to chase me. He pulled me into the downstairs guest bedroom and he sat me down on the bed and (not sexually) took my pants down and ripped the bandages off to see my tore up leg. He just stared at me waiting for an explanation.
"What he said just kept just kept replaying and I I don't know- know what happened I- I blacked out and I'm not sure what happened but then it happened- happened again. And I'm just so sorry.." I was crying so hard I was even hiccuping. He looked at me and grabbed my face and told me to calm down and I just kept apologizing over and over again.
"Hey. Calm down I've got you now. I'll help you get through this. Okay? You have to trust me though." I nodded and said okay. We went back upstairs and watched Netflix movies and we all tried to keep our cool. Until I remembered that I had forgotten about the knife. So I got up and cleaned it again and didn't black out. Then I went back upstairs and smiled at Shelby and I guess she knew I was okay so we all took a nap.