I will recover.

Oh dear.

I had gotten really bad and then Khol came in.
"Hey uh can I sleep with you. My sheets are--" he stopped and looked at me. I was on the floor in the corner of the room crying with a blade in my hand. The cuts were healing slowly because of how deep they were. "Autumn. Look at me. This needs to stop. LOOK AT ME!" He started screaming. Then he began whispering with his head against mine. "Your just bent. Not broken. You'll get better I promise. I'm gonna go get my phone real quick and I'll be back okay?" I nodded. After he left the room I stabbed my leg as hard as I could and pulled. I threw the knife at the wall as hard as I could and it hit right beside the light switch. Khol came back in. He just stared in disbelief for a moment. Then immediately put alcohol on it. It healed instantly.
"Why?" Is all he could say. I had stopped crying.
"Depression doesn't just go away. I'm sorry. I know this hurts you. But I mean it hurts me more and I don't know why I do this. I have what most people want. Right? Eternal life a great boyfriend a good life good friends. I've got it made. But somehow I don't. I only have one true friend. I get picked on. My family is full of problems. And I lost a lot over time. Why do I feel like doing this, right? It's just easier than hurting the ones I love." I took a drag off of a cigarette. "Maybe this will be the last time. I really hope so." He was crying. He put my cigarette out and cleaned the blood off of my leg and carried me to bed.
"I love you. Please let me help you get better. I love love love love love love love. Only you."
"I love you too." I went to sleep. And I didn't wake up for seven days. And I kept having the same nightmare. Shelby was slaughtered. By me. It was all my fault. I killed her. And after her it was everyone.
I killed everyone..
I woke up on a Tuesday. Khol had just walked in.
"Finally. I've been trying to get you up for a week." He sighed and sat beside me handing me a gallon of animal blood. I drank that sucker dry. "I made you breakfast."
"I'm so not getting up." He chuckled and carried me. And that's when I realized I was only in my underwear and a T-shirt. I just kinda dangled and giggled as if I were on some kinda drugs. He flopped me down on the chair. And I was still giggling. He passed me a plate of food. It was just a pile of mashed potatoes. I smiled at him. He smiled a sad smile at me. I licked the plate. And he just laughed. But he looked sad. I stood up and climbed across the bar. And wrapped my legs around his waist. And my arms around his neck. "Please don't be sad like me."
He hugged me tighter. "I'm only sad because you are." Realization hit me. I decided it was time to get better. So I ran upstairs tripping a couple of times and flushed my blades. I got my art sets out and made sure they were handy for next time I was sad.

"I will recover." I said with determination in my eyes.