Don't Think Twice

Ch.37: Admitting it

Chapter 37: Airi

2 months later…

                The end of February was nearing ( two weeks left to be exact), bringing the second semester closer to an end. The apartment was dead silent with solitude although the three of us occupied the same room. It was two teams, dividing the dimensions of our abode as well as our ability to converse. Even with the claims of neutrality, I wasn’t born yesterday. Let’s be real; I had crushed Liam’s heart and in a way, I was responsible for crushing my very own. No one wanted to get in the middle of it. I don’t blame them.  He wasn’t on the plane ride back to New York that Christmas, so prior to his arrival I transferred my possessions back to my place, knowing it was time to get the hell out of his way. 

While Eliyza was always with me, trying to console my conscience, the rest of the girl gang along with Charley made appearances, giving it their all to get me to talk. But this wasn’t quadratics.  X had only one solution. In the end, I managed to digress to another subject, hinting they let it go. I had gotten really good at that.

With ballet and class, I was hardly given any time to think about Liam but, I always had that opening from midnight to six in the morning, replacing my sleep. The Swan Lake ballet had approached me quicker than I expected and by end of January, the team had been invited to various places. I had made an appearance at all six, using these opportunities as gateways from, well, life. Once directors tried to cajole me into making ballet a career, I stopped there, taking a break from that break. Not once had I seen Liam’s face in the crowd and in all honesty, I don’t think I would have been able to bear the resurfacing disappointment. It was then I realized I hadn’t seen Liam since Brazil, even after class had resumed.

Currently Owen was over giving Eliyza’s prominent baby bump a massage while I finished cooking dinner, AKA, ramen. Being a close friend of Liam’s, Owen thought it was smart to act awkward with me. I ignored it, knowing there was nothing I could do. It was only appropriate to be surprised when he came up to me to talk about a pretty serious matter.

“Liam hasn’t been to a single practice since this month. Isn’t that just a bit weird?” Through my peripheral view, I could see Eli giving him an unsubstantiated face. Despite her reaction, I chose to respond, showing no weakness.

“How would I know? Maybe you should try his cell.” If there was one thing Liam could not live without, it was communication, in short form, his Evo.

“That’s the thing. I’ve tried everything; home phone, cell phone, Facebook. Nothing’s getting to him. I went to his place the other day and no one answered. He hasn’t been in class either. Airi, you should—.”

“I DON’T KNOW WHERE HE IS, OKAY! He’s probably playing around with a new girlfriend or something! Just leave me out of this!” I dropped the wooden spoon in the pot of noodles and walked out the apartment where nature could possibly appease my pathetic self.  I took the empty bench as a welcome and let my back absorb the coolness of the metal. Then, I cried. For a very long time.

I was taken by surprise when Eliyza took a seat next to me. Her hand fell on my knee, giving it a contented rub. Although there was no mother figure in my life, I realized that she was the next best thing.

“Airi, you need to go see him,” she said in whisper, bringing chills to my spine. I sprung up in disbelief.

“No Eliyza! Not all relationships are fun, and happy, and lovey-dovey like yours and Owen’s. Talking to Liam is not going to just fix things!”

“You both need to talk about what happened. You need to get him to understand. Airi, I know you’re afraid of all this love stuff but he doesn’t. You can’t just give up on what you two had!”