Discovering myself (18+)

45. In the emptiness

I wake up with a disturbing noise I've learned to be Andrew's phone ringing suddenly combine with his groans before taking the call. He leaves my bedroom and I hear his rushed whispers outside my door, and his nervous steps driving me to imagine him walking around while discussing on the phone. He comes back some minutes later with an obvious grumpy mood.

I hear him catching his clothes on the floor and I take my phone, on my nightstand, groaning with it displaying five-thirty, damn it is early.

"I didn't intend to wake you, I have to go," he tells me walking to my side of the bed, before placing a kiss on my forehead and leaving.

I take my phone again sighing and letting my head fall back on my pillow. I won't be able to wake up again in thirty minutes to go for a run as usual. So I planned my alarm to eight, turn to the other side of the bed, and go back to sleep.

The emptiness left on my bed by Andrew is disturbing me, my body misses something, his warmness probably since it became cold after his leave.

My mood got grumpy too since I left the bed to get dressed and go to college. All I want is to go back to it, sink in my mattress and sleep the whole day. I'm still tired, the cut of my sleep at five-thirty disordered the whole thing.

I take my books, place my bag on my shoulder and leave the apartment, walking, as usual, to go to class. While entering the old building, oddly I smile when my soreness reminds me of our doings last night. And I continue to be reminded of it during the day.

"Hey there," I'm obliged to raise my head and find Brandon in front of me. I was seating alone on a bench in front of the Engineering department building eating a sandwich during lunch break. I dislike eating a sandwich for lunch, I'm sure in one hour I'll be hungry again, however, I wanted to eat something outside in the sun and alone.

"Hi", I greet him back, giving him space to seat on my side, seeing he has a sandwich with him as well.

"How are you Kels?"

"I'm good, you?" I turn to face him when I respond, the sun is now in my eyes, blinding me and hiding Brandon's expression from me.

"I'm ok, I told my parents about changing my degree, and even if they don't agree I have already done my request to the department", he sighs, slowly unwrapping his sandwich meanwhile showing his tiredness.

"Are they against?"

"Not really, but they didn't take it well. I could see my father's disappointment, he thought I would take his business after."

"He will get over it when he sees how happy you are about your new degree".

"I hope", he sighs again, "I have decided anyway, I won't come back on it."

I smile at him, "good for you", I complete before taking another bite of my sandwich.

We continue eating in silence for a while before Brandon speaks again, "and you, are you going to study in France?"

"I hope so, I have sent applications".

On the corner of my eye, I see Brandon smiling back at me, "I'm sure you will get in Kels, I hope I will be receiving pictures of you on the Eiffel tower next year, and in a PSG match, of course."

His comment brightened my day somehow, with this distant vision of what my life will be in one year, everything I have always wish for, all I've been waiting for. I smile back at him, grimacing when the sun blinds me again.

"I will miss you though." He tells me touching my shoulder with his.

We continue discussing until the end of lunch break, Brandon's company was surprisingly comfortable and cheerful. Natural, different from the last time we saw each other, I hope it will remain this way and we can be friends after all.