Discovering myself (18+)

12. In the side effect

I couldn't sleep after I go back home; I keep turning myself on my bed. What the fuck just happened? It was not a fuck for sure, I am still feeling all the sexual tension as before. I didn't get a release that I so much desire.

What's wrong with him, he makes me aroused and then stops? Is it normal? Is it how people do these days?

I keep cherishing him, his incredible body, his mouth-watering kisses, how he made me completely insane, craving him. I doubt I will be able to relax after that. Each time I close my eyes all I can sense is him and his hands all over me.

Should I do something to help me obtain my release? I don't even acknowledge how I should start touching myself. Perhaps, I could pretend it is his hand? It worth the try. He still has my vibrator, and I cannot sleep anyway.

I close my eyes as I begin sliding my hand in direction of my belly button, imagining his hand. When I approach my entrance, I touch a small cotton thread and feel something obstructing my way inside me. What the fuck?

Oh, God!

It is a tampon! I am using a tampon!

I got flushed and completely embarrassed. I can't believe it!

After all, I got lucky for not having sex tonight. I completely forgot I'm on my period! I'm picturing how embarrassing would it be sleeping with someone for the first time in my period!

I never considered I would be happy Andrew stopped us from going further. I placed my hands on my face wanting to hide.

I'm completely alone inside my room in Dani's flat, but I'm feeling so self-conscious! I can't believe I kissed him, I even told him to fuck me, worst I tried to convince him when he refuses to do it and adding the cherry on the top of the cake, I'm on my period. I could have done a bloody mess. Literally!

It took me hours to fall asleep, my head keeps twisting. It could be alcohol's outcome but also, I couldn't stop thinking. I'm in such a mess. I feel nervous, aroused, ashamed, desperate, stupid, confused, disgusted, rejected, and frustrated. Altogether.

The amazing heavenly emotion I felt when Andrew's hands were on my body and his lips on my own are now gone and replaced by this mash, this tangle of feelings.

I woke up the next day with the noise of a door closing. Presumably, Dani has arrived from her one-nightstand. I lingered in bed, avoiding moving any muscle, everything hurts, mainly my head.

What time is it?

I check my phone, it is displaying 1 pm.

It is a blessing not to have soccer training today. The coach would eliminate me from the team if I had played in this condition.

I get up the bed and walk like my body weight tons; the gravity is a bitch. My head is exploding. I need to get something to eat before taking a painkiller.

I remember I have read once an article about a hangover, explaining exactly what we should and what we shouldn't consume. What did it say? I recall it has mentioned coffee, but I couldn't remember if it is supposed to make it better or worst. Since my mind is already established for a coffee anyway, I don't bother searching for it. I also prepared some scrambled eggs, realizing I am starving. I devoured it in less than a minute.

I take some painkillers among water just recollecting one of the instructions about aftereffects is to drink a lot of water. I simply fill and drink three more glasses like they are tequila's shots, as it would miraculously heal my hangover. I'm desperate.

Dani appears in the kitchen also taking a glass of water.

"Hey, hon," she says shifting to me and stopping. "Oh Kels, what happens? It seems like a truck smashes you over and over."