Temporary [H.S. || A.U.]

Chapter 30

'Cause I feel like such an insomniac
Please take me away from here

I didn't expect to kiss Grayson ever. Yet alone last night.

The feeling was indescribable.

I was on cloud nine when the two of us went to bed.

But of course, my brain had to go fucking around with its overthinking bullshit again.

So now I'm awake and can't sleep. The sun hasn't even risen yet. So it must be early as hell.

Grayson is currently snuggled into my side and fast asleep. It feels great having her so close. But my mind is racing and I feel so anxious. As good as it feels to be so close to her, I feel like I need to go get a drink of water and maybe get some fresh air to try and calm myself down a bit.

I hate when I feel like this. It's like I can't sit still and my whole body is itching, screaming at me to run in order to match with how fast my thoughts are running.

I need to get up and move around before this gets to be too much.

With my revelation, I slowly slide out of bed and put a pillow in my place like I did yesterday when I woke up before Grayson. I then grab my glasses off of the bedside table and slide them on before I quietly tiptoe out of the room and head downstairs.

Once I make it to the first floor of the house, I suddenly remember that I have some of the kava tea, that I brought from home, stored away in one of the kitchen cupboards.

Kava tea has been a real help to me when my anxiety gets bad. I did some research on alternatives to anxiety medications when I was first diagnosed with anxiety. I didn't want to jump into medication right away. Therapy really has helped me a lot, and kava tea. Kava tea contains kavalactones, which has been shown to affect the brain in a similar way to anti-anxiety medications.

So the combination of therapy and the tea, when I need it most, has helped me keep my anxiety manageable.

I'm not saying that tea suddenly is the magical cure to anxiety. But it can help some.

I would like to stay away from medication as long as possible. If I never have to go down that route, that would be best case scenario. I guess I just feel more comfortable with this approach because I'm scared of how the medications could change me. I have known people who go on it and hate how it makes them feel numb. Yet, I have known people who go on it and say that it's the best thing that has ever happened to them.

It really depends on the person, I guess.

When I round the corner to enter the kitchen, I see Davis standing there in just a pair of red and white plaid pajama pants hung low on his hips. He is also drinking a glass of water as he leans against the kitchen counter next to the sink.

I'm confused as to why Davis is in the kitchen when I notice that the digital clock on the stove is reading four-twenty-five in the morning. "Davis? What are you doing up?" I question, entering the kitchen and walking towards the cupboard where my tea is.