The Lost Girl

Chapter Sixty Three

*Regina's POV* *Time lapse*
It's been 3 days and Taylor is finally being released from the hospital. This would be the first time anyone other than her nurses saw the royal family since the curse was broken. Taylor had just changed into her own clothes and was ready to go home when Doc walked in with a sad expression. "Your majesties." He said with a broken voice. Emma stood beside me and grabbed my hand. "May I have a word with you in the hall?" He said. Emma nodded and the 3 of us walked to the hall. "Your majesties I have very bad news." He said and looked from Emma to me. I looked at Emma with concern in my eyes and she returned it. She held my hand and we waited for Doc's news. "We were looking over Roland's test results and we've found something we don't like." He said in a troubling tone. My heart began beating a million miles an hour and fear settled in my mind. "He had a PET scan and he lit up like a Christmas tree." Doc said in a shaky voice. My heart dropped and I felt it being ripped apart. Tears began escaping my eyes. I felt two arms pull me in a tight embrace. I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. I could barely breathe. "We got the tests back and..." Doc trailed off. "And what." Emma said through a shaky voice, still holding me close to her. "Osteosarcoma has taken over his body." He said. A sob emitted through my mouth and Emma held me tighter. Osteosarcoma is cancerous tumor in a bone and Roland has it all over. I wrapped my arms around her and cried. I felt her tears drip onto my shirt. "We're going to do everything we can to save him." Doc said. I nodded. "I'm so sorry." Doc said and walked away. After a few minutes, Emma and I had calmed down enough and we walked back into the hospital room. "What's wrong." Taylor said. We shook our heads. "We'll talk about it later." I said. They nodded. "Let's go home." Emma said in a broken voice. The kids stood up and left the room. I looked at Emma and she put her hands on my cheeks and leaned her forehead against mine. "What are we going to do?" I asked in a raspy voice. "We're going to keep our son." She said. "He will beat this." Emma whispered. I nodded and she kissed me lightly. She held my hand as we joined our children in the hallway. Doc was waiting for us. "Go on to the car." Emma said. The kids nodded and walked away. "I will call you later with treatment options." Doc said. Emma nodded and we walked away. We walked out of the hospital and to my car. Taylor's car had already been fixed and was at home. We all climbed in my black Mercedes and Emma drove. She put her hand on my thigh and drove towards the house. When we got there, she parked and the kids got out of the car. They all walked to the door. Emma got out and walked around to my side of the car. She opened my door, but I couldn't move. I was still in shock. This wasn't fair. This is the second family member we had that's contracted cancer. Lili being the first. Emma grabbed one of my hands and I smiled at her with tears in my eyes. She had tears in her eyes as well. I got out and she kissed my temple lightly. I closed the door to the car and we walked to the front door of our home. Emma unlocked it and the kids went inside. They went upstairs to their rooms and Emma and I went to the living room. "We have to tell them." Emma said. I nodded, then sighed. "Roland. Come to the living room please." Emma shouted. The bubbly 5 year old came down the stairs almost immediately and sat on the couch across from us. "What's wrong mommies?" He asked. This was extremely hard. He's 5 years old. We shouldn't have to be explaining that he has cancer. "Roland.. Do you know what cancer is?" Emma asked. He nodded. "It makes you really sick." He said. Emma and I nodded. "It does." Emma said with a shaky voice. I put my hand on her thigh. "Sweety. Do you remember the different tests you had in the hospital?" I asked. He nodded. "Honey. Doc told us that.." I started, but trailed off as tears built up in my eyes. "Sweety, you have cancer." I said in a raspy voice and my tears escaped. He just looked at us. "Am I going to die?" He asked quietly. "We don't know kid. But we sure hope not. Doc is going to make you feel as good as he can." Emma said and her voice cracked. She grabbed my hand and held it. Roland ran over and hugged us. "I'll get better." He said and we both lost it. Tears streamed down both of our faces. He pulled away and kissed both of our cheeks. "Taylor. Henry. Come down please." Emma shouted. "We're going to tell your brother and sister now." I said to the small boy sitting beside me. He nodded. "Yeah?" Taylor asked as her and Henry sat down. "I have cancer." Roland blurted out. They looked at us with shock. Emma and I nodded and their faces fell. "He has a major case of Osteosarcoma." Emma said. Tears fell from both of their eyes. "Imma get better." Roland said. We all smiled lightly. "Why don't you go on up to your room for your nap." I said. Roland nodded and ran up the stairs. I looked at the 2 teenagers sitting across from us. "It's all over his body. The chances of survival are slim to none. But, we will try anything we can to make him better." I said. They nodded as tears fell from their eyes. Emma and I walked over and hugged them. We all cried. We loved this little boy so much. I pulled away when my phone started ringing. "Queen Swan-Mills." I said. "Hello your majesty. Can you and Queen Emma come in for a meeting?" Doc asked, after I answered. "Um sure. We'll be right there." I said. He hung up. "Emma. We have to go see Doc. It sounded important." I said. Emma looked up at me with tear-stained eyes and nodded. Taylor and Henry stood up, then walked upstairs. Emma and I walked to her car. She opened the passenger door for me and I smiled weakly. I got in and she shut the door behind me. I put on my seatbelt as she walked around the front of the car to get in. She got in and put her seatbelt on. She started the car and pulled out of our driveway, driving towards the hospital. She laid Her hand on my thigh and I held her hand, still leaving it on my thigh. We got to the hospital and she parked the car. We both got out and she held my hand, tight, as we walked towards the entrance. We walked through the sliding doors and Doc was waiting for us at the reception desk. "Follow me please." He said in a sad tone. We nodded and followed him down the long hallway to his office. He opened the door and motioned for us to enter. We did and we sat down. He follows and sat down behind his desk. "Your majesties. We've looked into it, and with his case of the illness and his age, there is nothing we can do to heal him. You see, chemo will only make him sicker." Doc said. In an instant, it seemed like my world was spiraling out of control. Emma grabbed my hand and held it. The tears in my eyes began spilling over and I couldn't stop them. "There's nothing you can do?" I whispered, not being able to talk in a normal voice. "Sadly no. We always want cancer patients to be as happy and feel as good as possible during their illness and in this case, that would be without treatment." He said in a sad voice. I closed my eyes and the tears kept coming. Emma laid a hand on my back and I felt calmer. "Then, he'll go untreated." I said. He nodded. "How long?" Emma asked. "Well, it's not definite, but, it's newly found and it's been building up and building up. It could be any day soon." Doc said. I lost it. Emma rubbed my back as I sobbed. She was crying too. "I'm so sorry." He said. Emma nodded. "Call us if anything changes." Emma said and stood up. She reached out for my hand and I grabbed hers. I stood up, tears still streaming down my face and she put her arm around my shoulders. We walked to her car and got in. Emma lost it. Uncontrollable sobs wreaked havoc on our bodies. After about 20 minutes of uncontrollable sobbing, we both calmed down a little and Emma began driving. We both just sat in the car, in silence, not touching each other, just feeling numb and broken. Just the thought of human interaction made me want to be sick. We finally got home and I got out of the car and walked straight to the front door. I opened it and walked up the stairs. Taylor came out of her room and I raised a hand, signaling it was not the time to ask questions. She nodded and walked back to her room. I went to my room and changed into yoga pants and a long sleeve shirt. I got in bed and pulled the covers over me, even though it was only 4 in the afternoon. I stared out the window as I laid on my side. There were Mockingbirds in the oak tree by the window. I'll kill all the blue jays I want, but it's a sin to kill a Mockingbird. I felt a dip in the bed, beside me, but she didn't touch me at all and quite frankly? I was glad. I was not in the mood to be touched. Or to talk. Or to breathe. Or to move. Or to do anything, really. I just laid there feeling numb. No, I'm not the one with cancer, but when a doctor tells you that your son will die and it's only a matter of days, your heart breaks. Not like when you get dumped by someone you really liked. Like when you're breathing. If someone were to take away your oxygen, you would die. That's what losing a child is like. I eventually fell asleep. When I woke up, it was midnight. I slipped out of bed and walked downstairs and to the kitchen. I walked to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water. There was pizza in the fridge. I assumed that's what they had for dinner. I still wasn't hungry though, so I just drank my water. I twisted the cap off and leaned against the island. I drank a few long sips, then just stared at different things. When I finished my water, I went back upstairs. Instead of getting back in bed, I got my laptop and phone off the nightstand and walked back downstairs. I sat down on the couch in the family room and turned the tv on. Friends was on. I opened my laptop and began doing some research on Osteosarcoma. After a while, I had depressed myself, so I closed my MacBook Pro and set it in the floor beside the couch. I checked my phone and it was only 2 am. I continued watching Friends for a while. When 3:45 rolled around, I turned the tv off, then grabbed my laptop and phone, then walked upstairs. I set them both down on my nightstand and got back in the bed. Emma did not turn to face me as I got back in bed. That was unusual, but we're both pretty upset and I'm a little glad, because I do not want to hug anyone. I do not want to kiss anyone. I do not want to talk to anyone. I do not. Not even Emma. I fell asleep, but woke up around 5:30 am. I quickly and quietly stood up, then put on my Free Runs. I put on a hoodie and left on my yoga pants. I grabbed my phone and headphones, then walked out of my room. I put the headphones in and turned on my music. I put my phone on airplane mode so I would not be disturbed. The sun was just rising. I closed the front door and then put my hair up in a ponytail. Suicide by Rihanna was playing. I flashed myself to the beach, so I could run in peace. The sand was good to run on and the ocean waves gave off a calming roar. After running the entire length of the beach twice, I sat down in the sand. I checked my phone and saw it was only 8 o'clock. Stay by Miley Cyrus was playing. I watched as the waves gently rose and fell. The foamy surf almost reaching my feet. I crossed my legs and sat Indian style in the sand. The waves reminded me of the depression building inside me. Some days it's quiet and calm. Others it's like a hurricane broke free in my mind. I began shivering lightly. I didn't sweat at all in the cold air. It was well below 30 degrees. Even though I was wearing a long sleeve shirt, a hoodie and yoga pants, I was still cold. It's February and it's almost the coldest time of the year. When 8:45 rolled around, I decided to start the walk home. It would be about an hour before I got there. There were a few people out, going to work and other things. It was a Tuesday morning, so kids were already at school. I was about halfway home. It was 9:15. No one spoke to me when they saw me this morning. Everyone had probably heard by now. Emma had apparently told Snow. When I finally got home, it was silent. I closed the front door very quietly. The kids weren't having lessons for a while. I walked up the stairs and walked to my room. Emma was still asleep and had her back to the door. I sighed and walked out. I opened Henry's door and he was still asleep. I pulled it closed silently, then went to Taylor's room. She was still asleep as well. I closed her door and walked down the stairs. I knew Roland would still be asleep, so I didn't see any need to check. I grabbed my wallet off the coffee table in the family room and walked to the front door. I grabbed my keys out of the bowl by the door and then walked out of the house. I walked to my black Mercedes and got in. I drove to Granny's. I walked in and everyone stared at me. I rolled my eyes and walked to the bar. "What can I get you?" Ruby asked with a weak smile. "Hot chocolate with cinnamon. To go." I said in a flat tone. She nodded and walked away. She came back 5 minutes later and handed me the drink. I handed her a 5 and walked out. I took a sip of the hot liquid and walked to my car. I got in and put my drink in the cup holder. I pulled out of my parking spot and drove toward Town Hall. No, I was not dressed for work, but I didn't really care at this point. I got to Town Hall and parked. I got out and walked to the front. I pushed the door open and walked towards my office. Belle didn't say anything when I walked past her. Guess you could tell I was not in the mood. I walked to my office and sat behind my desk. I put my elbows on my desk and put my head in my hands. The intercom beeped and Belle started talking. "Your majesty, I cancelled your meeting with Blue.. She said she'd call to reschedule." Belle said. I pressed the talk button. "Thanks Belle." I said and let off of the button. I took the hair bow out of my hair and ran my hands through it, then put it back up. There wasn't much for me to do. I looked over different papers. Different bills. Then I came across a birth certificate. Roland James Locksley. 6 pounds, 8 ounces. 21 inches. April 3rd, 2008. If time hadn't stopped, he'd be turning 8. But no. He's still 5. Taylor's birthday is March 3rd. She should be turning 22. But she'll stay at 19, because no one ages. Henry should've turned 19 on October 11th, but nope. No one ages here. After you hit a certain age, you stop aging and it's different for everyone. Roland should not be dying at age 5. But he will. He will never get to be king. He will never get to fall in love. This isn't fair. Losing a 5 year old boy is not fair. He is our son. I had gotten lost in my thoughts and not realized it was already noon. I sighed and packed up the papers. I had only been here about 2 hours, but I wasn't in the mood to be here. I grabbed my phone and wallet, then walked out of my office. "I'm going home Belle." I said and walked past the secretary. She nodded. "Feel better your majesty." She said in her Australian accent. I walked out and to my car. I pulled out my car keys and unlocked the door. I sat down and put on my seatbelt. I started the car and backed out. I started driving toward my house. I got to the house and saw that both, Emma and Taylor's cars were there. I parked in the driveway and cut off the car. I got out and looked at the house. 108 Mifflin Street. The 'Mayoral Mansion'. I sighed and walked toward the front door. I opened it and saw Emma in the kitchen. "Where have you been all morning?" She asked in a flat tone. "Out." I said and walked towards the stairs. "So, you leave at 5:30. Come back at 9:45. Then leave again and not come back til now?" She asked in an annoyed voice. I looked at her with annoyance written all over my face. "Yes." I spit and walked up the stairs. I heard Emma sigh heavily and she probably rolled her eyes at me, but I was not in the mood to deal with it today. I went to my room and closed the door. I sat in the bed and just looked around. The house was oddly silent. No fighting between Taylor and Henry. No laughing. No music being played. No tv noises. Nothing. It just sounded silent. It was sad, really. But I guess we were all sad. I fell asleep, thinking about life and our family. When I woke up it was 6:15. No more silence. I heard laughing and talking. I stood at the top of the steps in silence. I saw Henry setting the table and Taylor and Roland were washing their hands. Emma was laughing at something that was said and the kids were smiling. I walked back to my room and put on a pair of skinny jeans, but left on my hoodie. I took my hair down and brushed it out. I walked down the stairs and everyone looked up at me. The laughter stopped. The talking stopped. It all stopped, just because I entered the room. I cleared my throat awkwardly. "We're having lasagna for dinner. I found your recipe and made it." Emma said in a flat tone. I nodded. Then, back to silence. "Was anyone going to come get me?" I asked in a sad voice. The kids looked at Emma awkwardly. "Mom said to let you sleep.." Henry said and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. I bit my lip and nodded. "Enjoy your 'family dinner'." I said and put on my shoes, then walked out of the house. No one tried to stop me. I flashed myself to the abandoned warehouse that had been used as a torture house when Greg and Tamara were here and before we killed Emily. I found that back room and leaned against the torture table. I sat on the ground and pulled my legs into my chest, then leaned my chin against my knees. No one would look for me here. There was a mirror in the corner of the room. I stood up and walked over to it. "Mirror mirror by the wall, show me the one I love most of all." I said and waved a hand over it. Emma appeared. They weren't eating. Emma was sitting at the piano. She played a note and then started a song.
Am I just a fool?
Blind and stupid for loving you.
Am I just a silly girl?
So young and naive to think you were the one who came to take claim of this heart.
Cold-hearted shame, you'll remain just a frame in the dark.