The Lost Girl

Chapter Forty One

*Regina's POV*
After we watched Silver Linings Playbook, we watched Cyberbully. It was Taylor's favorite movie and we had never seen it. So, we wanted to watch it and see what it was about. "I'm the real Taylor Hillridge. And I don't know why everybody HATES me so much, or maybe I do. Because now I hate me too. I really don't see the reason of trying, or for talking, or for breathing. I'm just so done. So that's it I guess. Bye." The main character said. Tears were flowing down my cheeks. "Emma? Is that how you felt when you tried to kill yourself? The first time?" I said and looked at Emma. She nodded and I wrapped my arms around her tightly. We continued watching the movie. After we finished the movie, we just laid there for a while. We didn't move. We just kinda held each other and cuddled. We didn't talk. We just laid there in a comfortable silence. "I love you." I said after 30 minutes of just sitting there. "I love you, my queen." Emma said and kissed my cheek. "That movie was sad." I said. She nodded. "It's almost 6. You wanna go get some dinner?" Emma asked me. I nodded. We got up and got dressed, because we had both still been in our pajamas. I put on jeans and a long flannel shirt. I put on brown riding boots. Emma was wearing dark blue jeans, a white tshirt, her red leather jacket and brown boots. "Ready?" I asked. She nodded and we walked downstairs, holding hands. We walked out and walked to Granny's. It was cold outside, but it always is. We walked to Granny's and sat at a table by the window. "Emma?" I said and looked at her. She looked up at me. "Yeah Gina?" She asked looking concerned. "Do you... Uh, nevermind." I said, my voice getting lost in my throat. "What is it?" She said and grabbed my hand. "I just..." I couldn't tell her what I was thinking about. She'd think I didn't trust her. "Tell me." Emma said, concern evident in her voice. "Emma... Do you... Like Hook?" I asked her, fear in my voice. She just looked at me. "I... Uh." She said. I nodded and the tears I was holding back began to flow. I stood up and left before Emma could see them. "Regina!" Emma yelled from behind me. People were probably staring at her. But I can't let her see me cry. I walked all the way home and went inside. The kids still weren't home, so this was a good time. I wrote a note to Emma and told her what I was doing. I packed a bag, put the note on the door and got in my car. The tears were still flowing freely down my face and I wasn't trying to stop them. I sped out of the driveway and drove towards the town line. Henry, Taylor, Emma, Snow, Charming and I were the only people who could cross the town line and not lose the town. So, I was leaving for a while. I don't know where I plan on going or what I plan on doing. But I'm leaving. Leaving this town. I need a break. I got to the town line and stopped. I stared at the sign that said "Leaving Storybrooke." I shook my head and started the car again. I drove over the line and watched as it got smaller, the farther away I got. I drove for almost 6 hours. I saw a sign that said "Welcome to New York". I guess I could stop here. I drove until I found a hotel. I walked in and welcomed the warm air in the hotel. I walked up to the reception desk and looked at the boy. "Hi, I need a room." I said he nodded and started typing on his computer. "Room 108." He said. I nodded and then thought of our home. 108 Mifflin Street. Emma must be home by now. It's almost 1 am. I walked up the stairs and found the room. I opened the door and walked in. It was a big room. Nice hotel. Friendly people. I laid my bag down and got out my phone. This was the first time I've checked it since I left. I laid in the bed and got under the comforter. I checked my phone and Emma had called me 20 times. Texted me 10 and left me 4 voicemails. I unlocked my phone and listened to the voicemails. Voicemail one:"Regina. Please. It's not what you think it is. Please. You have to let me explain." Voicemail two:"Regina. Where the hell are you? Regina, please. Please come home. I can't lose you. I need you. Regina, in your note, you said goodbye. You said you would never say goodbye. Because goodbye means leaving and leaving means forgetting. And you said you could never forget me. Regina, please." She began crying towards the beginning of the message. Voicemail three:"Regina, please! I know you're mad, or upset, or hurt, or who am I kidding you're probably pissed the hell off. Or maybe all five. But, please. You have to answer the phone. Please! I need you Regina. It's almost midnight. Please. Please come back." She said through a stressed voice. She was still crying. I could tell. Voicemail four: "Regina. I know you're probably mad. And I can't fix it right now. I'm so sorry. Regina. You have to come home. Please. I need you. It's 12:15 and I'm sitting in the bed and I've been crying for hours and I'm looking at the ceiling and all I can think about is you. I'm thinking about all of the stupid stuff I've ever said, but, you've never called me out on it. You just laughed at me. Even when I said stuff that pissed you off. You just rolled your eyes and gave me the silent treatment until I kissed you and apologized. And your kiss, damn your kiss. It's amazing. I just want to hold you. Your side of the bed is cold and I don't like it. It smells like you, but it's not the same. Please Gina." I began crying in this message. She sounded so vulnerable. So, so broken. So hurt. But, I can't go back now. I can't. I opened the texts and saw that Emma had basically just said "Regina." 10 times in the hopes I would reply. I deleted the messages and then laid my phone down. It was about 1:30 now and I couldn't sleep. I just stared at the ceiling. "Emma?" I said, then I remembered I wasn't at home. The tears began flowing again as my phone started to ring. I didn't feel like checking it. I let it ring. Several minutes later, it buzzed. I checked it and Emma had called me and left me another voicemail. "Okay. Well, I can't sleep. But, you clearly don't want to talk to me. So, I'll leave you alone. This is the last time I'll call you. Regina Swan-Mills, just know I love you. You are the only person I love. I will never move on. I will always love you, no matter the circumstances. I still remember my first year in Storybrooke, how I loved you, but I was too scared to say it. I remember dating Hook. I remember when we were in Neverland and I had to tell my deepest secret so we could get Henry back. I remember the looks I got from my family when I said that I loved you. I remember the look on your face. I remember it perfectly. I remember when we left and we had split up and you and me had partnered together. I remember saying that I loved you and I remember you saying 'I heard that' over your shoulder. I remember when you told me you loved me back. I remember how we had to huddle together to stay warm at night. I remember it all. I will NEVER forget. I hope you will come home, but I understand if you want to forget about me. I love you Regina. But, you said goodbye. So, I guess it's my turn. Goodbye Regina Swan-Mills. I will never forget you." I was now sobbing my heart out. This woman. This message. I would never delete this message. I called her back and waited for an answer. I didn't get one. It went to her voicemail. "Hey, Emma. Um, I don't know how long I'm going to be here. I'm in New York. But, don't worry I'll be fine. Uh, don't worry about me. Tell the kids I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I left, Emma. Uh. I love you. I'll see you later, maybe. Goodbye." I said and sobbed into my pillow. Emma called back about 15 minutes later. I decided to answer this one. "Hell..Hello?" I stuttered. "Regina! You have to leave New York! Rumplestiltskin is in New York. Look, you don't have to come home, because I understand I'm an awful wife. I know that. But, please. Just leave New York. I can't risk you getting hurt. I swear, I will come find you if you don't." Emma said. "Emma, I'm an adult. I can handle him." I said. "Please." She said. "Okay." I said and hung up. She texted me 5 minutes later. "I love you." I read. "I love you, Em." I sent back. I turned my phone off and laid in the bed. I just stared at the ceiling until 9 am. Then I went for a run. *time lapse* it's been three weeks. Three weeks. Three fucking weeks. I haven't talked to Emma. I just keep listening to her messages. I'm going to go home today. I can't wait any longer. I gathered my things and put them in my Mercedes. I went back in the hotel and handed the receptionist my keys. "Hey, do you know an Emma Swan-Mills?" The teenage boy asked me. I was taken aback by his question. "Yes... She's my wife.. Why?" I said. He looked at me. "I was curious, because, she stayed here awhile back. In the same exact room that you did." He said. "Really?" I asked. He nodded. "Well. That's a coincidence." I said. He nodded and smiled. "Wait, where am I?" I asked. "Boston." He said. I thought I was in New York... "That's what I thought." I lied. He nodded. Have a good day." He said as I walked out. I got in my car and began driving. I looked at the clock. It was 2 in the afternoon. I'd get to Storybrooke by about 8 tonight. I couldn't wait. I finally got here. I drove over the town line and my heart started beating faster as I thought about seeing Emma. It was 8:30. She should be home. I drove to our house and smiled. I pulled in the driveway and got my bag out of the car. I didn't have my house key, so I walked to the door and rang the bell. It took about 10 minutes before anyone answered. "Mom?" Henry said. I smiled and he hugged me tightly. "I missed you." He said. "I missed you too kid. Look, I brought you this." I said as I pulled out the leather bracelet that had 'Boston' carved in it. He smiled. "Cool." He said. I smiled at him as he put it on. Taylor came out of the kitchen and hugged me. "I missed you." she said. "I missed you too." I said. "I got you something." I said as I pulled a bracelet that matched Henry's out of my pocket. I handed it to her and she smiled. "Uh, where's your mom?" I said and looked at them. They looked at each other then looked upstairs. Neither would answer. So, I walked up the stairs and to my room. I opened the door and I almost screamed. "Regina?" Hook said and looked at me. Emma was laying in the bed, crying. He was sitting on the edge. "Get out of my room." I said to him. He got up and left immediately. I walked over to Emma and laid down beside her. I tightly wrapped my arms around her. "I'm so sorry." She said. "Don't be. I'm the one who overreacted." I Said. She nodded and I kissed her forehead. "Why was he here?" I asked her. "He came over here everyday to try to cheer me up. It was really annoying." She said. I chuckled. "And Regina, I do like Hook. Not as a boyfriend or anything. But I like him as a brother and he understands that now. I explained it and he said he would gladly accept me as a sister. He proposed to Bell." Emma said. I smiled. "I'm happy for them." I said. She nodded. "I love you Regina." She said. "I love you, my princess." I said. She smiled and kissed my cheek. I changed into my pajamas and laid beside her. "I got you something in Boston." I said. She looked at me as I pulled out the necklace. It was a silver Swan. (an: the one Neal gave her.) "It's beautiful." She said and put it on. We laid down and pulled the covers over us. We fell asleep in each other's embrace. It was good to be back.