Dazai: I lost ALL of my beauty *insert sad face*
Chuuya: You can't lose what you don't have jackass
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Akutagawa: *hears crashing downstairs* Just WHAT was that?!
Gin: Chuuya was reaching for new wine, don't worry, happens all the time
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Chuuya and Gin at a bar
Gin: shouldn't you be drinking less?
Chuuya: IT SPEAKS WITH A FEMININE VOICE?!
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Dazai: I found a peanut in the couch
Chuuya: Eat it
Dazai: No, that's Ranpo's, I don't want to suffer *silently puts peanut back in place*
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Mori: *cusses at a cat because it bit him*
Fukuzawa: *stabs him*
Mori: So are you gonna want this back or can I keep it?
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Chuuya: We're pretty good 'friends'
Dazai: Friends?
Chuuya: Yea idk either
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Akutagawa: *trying to kill Nathaniel*
Margaret: *epic jump saving scene*
Nathaniel: WHAT IN HELL ARE YOU DOING?
Margaret: I am SAVING you
Nathaniel: No I see that but WHY are you touching me, my body belong to God only you filthy peasant
Akutagawa: wtf did I just witness
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dazai: *singing his suicide song in the car*
Kyoka: ...Demon sno-
Atsushi: *pushing back the katana* It's not worth it
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Chuuya, having a hangover and trying to sleep
Dazai: *whispering* you better get yo ass out of that bed
Chuuya: *aggressively whispering* you better get yo ass out of my house!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Akutagawa: I hate you! You stupid cat!
Fukuzawa, out of nowhere: *raising katana*
Ranpo: oh no, he fucked up, he really fucked up, Alexa play Despacito
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chuuya: We are guy friends
Dazai: do you mean boyfriends?
Chuuya, visibly blushing: GUY FRIENDS
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Mori, walking in: *sees footsteps ALL over the room* What happened in here?
Kouyou: Chuuya tried to catch a bird
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dazai: *punches himself*
Chuuya: What are you doing?
Dazai: *slowly turns his head and whispers* I wanna feel alive
Chuuya: ....okay
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Lovecraft: *jumps into the sea*
Mark: UNDER THE SEA, UNDER THE SE-
Steinbeck: Ayo who allowed my mans to go see Ariel
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The PM and ADA trying to work together
Chuuya: *sits on the ceiling* I AM NOT working with THAT *pointing at Dazai*
Dazai: oh come on Chuuya you like it when your neck is purple
Chuuya: *flustered* SHUT THE FUCK UP *walks out of the room*
Dazai: OH MY YOU CAN WALK PROPERLY AGAIN
Chuuya: *internal panic*
Everyone: *dead silent*
Mori & Kouyou: USE PROTECTION KIDS
Tachihara: We don't want a mix of y'all on earth tbh
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Chuuya: Is this alcohol or perfume?
Dazai: idk let's find out
Chuuya, already chugging down the bottle: It's perfume
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Fitzgerald: *kicks a stray cat*
Fukuzawa: oh no he didn't
Kunikida: well shit, here we go again
Kenji: *trying to hold back Fukuzawa*
Fitzgerald: yeah yeah hold him back garden gnome
Kenji: Okay *releases Fukuzawa* good luck with that buddy
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Dazai and Chuuya, on a playground
Dazai: heh, suislide
Chuuya: are u fucking mental *face palms*
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Atsushi: *on the boat saving Kyoka*
Kunikida: HOLD UP *plays Titanic tune to make clear what's happening*
Atsushi: HUH
Kunikida: *now annoyed* *plays Timber* IT'S GOING DOWN! YOU BETTER MOVE!
Atsushi: JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY
Kunikida: THE BOAT IS SINKING YOU MORON, SO GET OF OFF THAT BOAT BEFORE I HAVE TO PLAY UNDER THE SEA
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Dazai: take me out on a date! Or with a gun, I don't mind either
Chuuya: *slowly pulling a gun*
Mori: *forces Chuuya's hand down* don't you dare, my ship is working out
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Chuuya, overly pissed: *kicks Dazai while using his ability*
Hirotsu: Well, we won't see him back for a while
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YOU ARE READING
BSD crack textposts
FanfictionMe and Alex were joking around and this is the result, enjoy We do not own any of bungou stray dogs, all credits to: Kafka Asagiri & Sango Harukawa (In this book, everyone is considered a main character)
