The Nerd's Secret |Ongoing|

☫ Chapter 35 ☫

t/w see a/n for more details

☫ Chapter 35 ☫

If you'll take anything away from my story, I hope it's that you'll never ignore the pit in your stomach when your gut is telling you something.

    Like in the way I have been doing and continue to be doing. And here we are. Well, not exactly. Mind you the catastrophe hasn't started quite yet. I'll once again begin at the most appropriate time. Morning.

     For one, I actually had a proper night's rest on a bed without any interruptions and at a decent hour. I'm not explicitly saying that the start of my day had me at my prime time. I'm merely insinuating that I might have been less anxious, less tired, and more alive today in comparison to how I've been this past week. And we all know how that's been.

     So there's that and there's also this other minor detail that's sort of maybe something that could be interesting to mention. You see, it went like this.

     I was the first to wake up this morning. Feeling extra rejuvenated, I started preparing breakfast. Better than being told to, I think. As I went about making the cinnamon oatmeal, a question entered my mind which stayed there to be entertained.

     Why don't I tell Jude? Why don't I simply tell him everything? Not necessarily a question actually. Maybe more of a spur at the moment self-initiated suggestion. But if we question it, as I've done, I feel as though the answer itself compels me to be agreeable and say yes. Because now, I want to tell him everything.

     Everything, as in the situation of being a superhero and having superpowers.

     The first argument is slightly juvenile but it's a start. If Dark Wonder, as we decided is also known as Lucas Trevor, kept both Kyle and Jenna informed, then I can study that scenario and compare it with mine. It's not a good idea to compare yourself to others since, of course, everyone has different circumstances and there are nuances that just can't be evaluated properly or really fairly, however, it's not that deep right now. The skeleton concept of both of our superhero alter-egos and people we associate with can be a good example of what to do.

     Now, I don't know if he decided on his own terms to tell them or if they found out themselves. I'd wager against the latter. Someone should let Lucas know he's not as discrete as he believes. Anyway, the fact is, they know. So that means, they're more understanding of the little consequences such as being late to things or not being able to show up. Or even showing up with bruises.

     This translates to my situation differently but still makes use of the underlining theme. If I'm candid with Jude. If I tell Jude exactly what's up, he's going to understand why I do the things I do and why I tend to say certain things during specific situations. To keep him aware is to keep him with a settled mind and I think that's only fair to a friend. Because he should know.

     He should know why getting shot is not as terrifying for me as it probably should be. Why sometimes I need to leave a scene just so I can return with a disguise. Why I'm capable of fending for myself and fight if need be. And why he doesn't need to worry about me as he seems so inclined to be.

    As much as I'm frustrated and to be perfectly honest, starting to grow offended, Jude means well. Peculiar as it is, he does care and that's valid. I think the reason why he's jumping to such an extreme conclusion is that he doesn't know everything. If you don't know everything, the interpretation and final deductions are flawed. Context clues can offer only so much.

     The emotional abuse discussion in conversations, texts, and pamphlets, is because he just doesn't know. That means, if I tell him, he'll understand. He'll understand it's not like that at all.