Poetic Sensibility

04- Guarded Observation

Seeing Romi out, Sarah returned with 4 cups of coffee on a tray. Kiara had to leave as well but the rest of them stayed behind for an elaborate discussion.

Taking a cup for himself, Kabir asked, "So why won't she read her work?" The question had been bothering Samay ever since Romi had left. Which was about 7 minutes.

"I've known her to be very possessive of her work. Eventually, she will read something of her own. For now she is oiling and grinding our gears to encourage free thinking," Sarah supplied.

Kabir stated his observation, "She's very guarded. That much is obvious."

"How is it obvious?" Rishi inquired.

"Well, to begin with, she won't read her own work. Other than that, the observations she makes and the questions she ask reflect nothing personal. While she clearly appears perceptive, I know nothing about her."

"Perhaps her writing is crippled. It happens. Those who are gifted teachers are just bad at the subject themselves," Rishi explained.

For some reason, Samay could not believe that she was bad at writing. It must be that part of her that employs caution which is holding her back. Or maybe they are all just over thinking the whole scenario and she will probably bring something to read the next time. He knew that he shouldn't build up any kind of expectations as far as she was concerned only to be later disappointed by her composition. That would be unfair. He tried steering the conversation to a different direction.

"How's the volunteering coming along?" he asked Kabir.

"It's good," he replied, sipping his coffee.

Sarah snorted as she said, "Yeah, he's been trying to recruit me since the last few weeks."

Samay laughed, "He's always trying to recruit you for something or the other. Either you're blind to it or he just won't take the hint."

Kabir's cheeks flamed as he punched Samay's shoulder, "Shut up, dude."

Sarah, on the other hand, looked from Samay to Kabir and simply shook her head. "Boys. Ugh." She cleared the cups of coffee and headed to the kitchen. How did she not see that Kabir had the most massive crush on her?! And why did he simply not tell her? He knew all about what personal insecurities do to a man but Kabir was always so very sure of himself. At least he was that way in all other matters.

Kabir turned to Samay, "Dude, that really wasn't neccessary!"

"You need to man up," he replied.

"She knows already! She turns a blind eye because she isn't interested."

Samay did not believe that for a second. He knew for a fact that she thought of him as more than just a friend for the numerous calls he would recieve at ungodly hours from a harassed Sarah after she had had an argument with Kabir. Samay had tried telling her that he wasn't her girlfriend that she could just pour out everything to him without expecting to be judged. Sarah, however, thought of Samay as a teddy bear who would never judge her. The fact that she was right irked him to no end.

Rishi, who was grinning from ear to ear, spoke up, "Or probably because she's heard it from everyone else except you. Women like to be asked, I've heard."

"And where exactly did you hear that? Cosmopolitan or Vogue?"

Samay knew it would take more than a few jibes for Rishi to back down. In fact, his zest never ceased to amaze him. How was the guy so pleased with himself and with his life all the time?!

Rishi turned to Samay and said, "He's always so sensitive about Sarah. I am actually a little bit offended that he has asked her to volunteer and I've known him for what, 8 years, and not once has he asked me."

"You're not pretty enough for him," Samay replied.

"I cannot believe you both are actually discussing this! Have we nothing better to talk about? For example how Samay wanted to murder Romi when she had talked of second chances," Kabir declared.

"That's not true," Samay said, defensively.

"Oh, it really is," Rishi replied. "You looked mad when she had questioned you about that. Your reaction actually confused me. It wasn't as though she was questioning the depth of your poem. I think it was some sort of introspection. I wonder who she thinks she is giving a second chance to."

Samay thought about Rishi's observation. During that little discussion, he had seen something shift in her eyes. It was the only time he had seen her lose her mask of composure, if only for a millisecond. She wasn't exactly icy but she did try really hard to appear passive. What, he wondered, would it take for her to lose that mask? His resolve to get her to let her guard down grew stronger the more he thought about it. This woman occupied way too much space in his mind than any of his acquaintances and he needed some answers.