Poetic Sensibility

09- The Custodian

Rishi sat in his usual spot and smiled at Kiara. She returned his smile with one of her own. Rishi was rather pleased with himself. It appeared as if she was slowly warming up to him when she had entered and greeted him. They had arrived right on time so the session had begun almost immediately. This time, Romi straight away asked them to read the poems they had brought. Samay went first. As the previous sessions had focused on sonnets, Samay had written one of his own. Rishi had started growing fond of sonnets. They were short so it became really easy to connect the start to the end and not get lost in between. He had tried experimenting with the form and after ironing out a few kinks, he was positive he would turn up with something decent in a few weeks.

As Samay finished his sonnet, everyone began asking him about it. Rishi couldn't help but notice that Kiara was getting rather fidgety. It looked as if she was trying really hard to not squirm in her seat. He wondered whether it was his presence that was making her uncomfortable. He remembered the day he had helped her with the interview preparation. She was apprehensive at first, but then he decided to fill in the gaps with stories about how he had botched up his interviews. For the first time, Rishi had been the one talking and a girl had listened. Yes, there was a smattering of comments and reactions from her now and then, but he was the primary talker. He remembered her mother with amusement and fondness in equal measures. She was a wonderful woman. He couldn't help thinking about her notebook. It was covered in a plain black chart paper and filled with all kinds of beautiful sketches and limericks and poems. If one was to open a page, any page, in that notebook, a thought would arise and one could turn that thought in their mind over and over again, the thought taking on different forms and sizes. He would have loved to read it but she had discovered him with it. And she hadn't liked it one bit.

For the umpteenth time, he wondered why the notebook was hidden like a dirty secret. Was she embarrassed of it? But how could she be?! She had such amazing ideas! Rishi found himself secretly praying that she had got something to read today. And that something would be from that black notebook of hers that she was so desperate to hide. He waited with bated breath as Kiara began to read her poem.

"'Wait!' I cried, as my fingers reached out
And he vanished, not hearing me shout.
Wondering when will I see him again,
I sank back on the bed in disdain.

In vain, I realized, was my hue and cry;
To summon him again, I didn't have to try.
For the Custodian of Secrets will always return,
And what you wish to hide, he will quickly learn.

Your secrets he will carry into nonexistence,
As he flexes his wings with sheer magnificence.
His mind is turning all the cogs and gears,
He won't judge you; so you need not fear.

Into my room he climbs every night;
For many things I hide with all my might.
He gazes upon me for hours at an end;
To him my secrets I safely send.

One day, like every other, he came to me;
I wondered how his beautiful form came to be.
No more secrets, I vowed, as they add to his woe,
But I loved him so, and could not let him go.

For about a minute, no one uttered a word. Rishi was spellbound. Romi was the first one to speak, "Oh my God! That was amazing!" she exclaimed. "What a fantastic concept... a Keeper of secrets. I am definitely going to be occupied with that one for a while." Everyone appreciated the poem. Rishi tried to think about why she would've chosen this as the subject for her poem. He did not miss the fact that while she was smiling and blushing at the reception of her poem, she was trying her best to avoid his eye. Finally, when she did look at him, he gazed into her eyes intently and said, "That was spectacular!" Her tentative smile grew and she was positively beaming. Rishi felt stupidly satisfied that he was responsible for that. The Custodian of Secrets, he thought. What secrets was she keeping? The fact that the poem seemed incomplete continued to nag him.

The session continued and Rishi noticed that someone or the other often glanced at Kiara in awe. As usual, Romi had not got a piece of her own to read. He could practically sense the steam coming out from Samay's ears. Either the man was insanely curious about her or he just desperately wanted to be better than her. He remembered their conversation about why she wouldn't want to read her own work. Were her reasons the same as Kiara's? No, he decided, they couldn't be. Romi was a teacher. She had an air of confidence about her. She wasn't as shy as Kiara. His mind drifted back to the day at her home. He was rather amused after the interaction with her mother. She was such an amiable lady, and talkative too. That was something her daughter had failed to inherit. But they had the same dusky skin tone and the same green-grey eyes. Eyes that were again shielded by the heavy black rimmed spectacles that Kiara wore.

As the session ended, Rishi made his way to the elevator with Kiara. He used the opportunity to speak to her about her poem.

"That was really, really something," he said.

For a moment she looked confused. Then, realizing what he was talking about, she coloured and muttered a thanks.

"Are you going to continue it?" he asked her.

Her eyes immediately snapped to his, "Why would I?"

"It just seemed incomplete," he replied.

She then turned her head to stare at the doors in front of her. Rishi couldn't help but feel that he had somehow guessed that she believed it was incomplete too and the fact that he could read her unsettled her deeply. What was it that she was hiding? And why did Rishi feel that burning curiosity to find out what that was?