PARKER | Dark H.S. AU

l. i feel bad

Copyright © zylgnagnaba 2014

"Charlie...please?" He croaks under his breathe, a little bit hopeless as he leans one of his arms against the door, head latched on it as he looks down at the floor. Finding refuge from the hardwood to support his stuppor. A tear has rolled down his cheek, but a lot more comes to sting his blurry green eyes. "Charlie...please, let me explain myself." The more he speaks...begs for the girl he loves to listen, the more his heart aches. It's even getting harder to breathe.

On the other side of the door, Charlie continues to resist him. She shakes her head as if he could see her doing so. Tears come to trickle down her flushed cheeks and down to her jaw, her nose red and stuffy.

"Just go. Please. There's nothing left to say. You lied to me." Her words are muddled by her sobs but her voice is audible enough for both of them to understand. "You lied to me...all this time, you did."

Each word her strangled voice carries is like a stab of a two-edged sword to Harry's chest. He didn't mean to lie to her, she should at least know that. But whether intended or not, he lied all the same. Harry knows that. And although Charlie knows deep within her heart that Harry wouldn't hurt her intentionally, he still lied to her and there is not enough justifications to it. He had so many chances to tell her the truth, but he blew them all off.

Charlie recalls the very day she admitted that she wasn't really dating Harry Styles to Aiden, who is ironically the real Harry Styles. She has to shut her eyes as another pang shoots through her chest, squeezing them to rid of the painful reminder. Just recalling those many times with "Aiden" make her feel even more awful. She feels foolish, betrayed at just how easy it was for the person she actually trusted to take advantage of her oblivion.

"Just give me a chance to explain myself, Charlie. Please, just open the door." Harry's voice shakes as he jiggles the doorknob, desperate to see the blonde, wanting nothing more than to ease the pain they both feel at the situation. He feels horrible.

"Just go! I don't even know who you are anymore!" Tears soak Charlie's trembling lips and she hastily wipe them away, pestered that they keep coming. If there's one thing she hates the most, it's crying.

The instance is even more painful than when she lost Felicity, but less than when she lost her parents.

"It's me, Charlie. It's me. I may have not told you my real identity, but it was me the whole time." Harry slams his fist against the door several times. "I love you. Please listen. Just-"

"Who are you exactly the whole time, then? Because I know the Aiden whom I fell in love with, the one I was supposed to say "yes" to a marriage to, wasn't going to hurt me by lying. Tell me, who was the guy who proposed to me out of nowhere last night? Was it my Aiden or the cheat Harry Styles?"

Harry opens his mouth to speak, but closes it when he fails to find the perfect words to say. He is torn between being Aiden and Harry Styles. Being Aiden means he wasn't really being himself the whole time, admitting he was being Harry Styles but using another person's name means the same. He beats himself at the fact that Charlie was supposed to say Yes, but found the truth before she even has the chance to do so. How twisted everything was makes him sick. He should have been the one to tell her, but sadistic little destiny couldn't seem to hold off until he was able to talk to her at Lisa's.

"Exactly." Charlie speaks up, muffling her sobs by placing the back of her arm against her mouth. It hurts her that Harry couldn't answer the simple question. It was confusing, she realizes, but if Harry was genuinely being himself the whole time, the answer would've come naturally out of his mouth.