We Take Our Vows Seriously

Chapter 6 - Everybody Needs Somebody

Drowning... that's what it felt like. Lan Zhan barely kept his head above the water level as the weeks progressed. He did what any productive and responsible individual would; he dove into his work until he was too exhausted to feel anything else. When the monotony of his routine threatened to drag him under, he would allow himself a moment to recall a pair of grey eyes dancing and the lilt of a musical voice calling his name. Then, when he could breath again, he quickly pushed the thoughts aside and continued with his day.

It was lunch when Wen Qing entered into Qingyang's room with the results of the latest EEG. Her face was solemn and Lan Zhan's heart stuttered in fear.

"There's been a change," he immediately concluded, his hands reaching for the results.

Wen Qing waited for Lan Zhan to read over the report.

"A decrease in brain activity," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. This had to be his fault, his silence over the past two months.

"It's been two years Lan Zhan," Wen Qing said, gently.

"Qingyang," Lan Zhan said, dropping the reports and reaching for her hand. "Qingyang, I'm here. Don't give up... please Qingyang. I'm sorry I've been quiet, but I'm here." He brought her hand to his forehead as he continued to plead.

"Lan Zhan." Wen Qing placed a hand on his shoulder and blinked back her tears. "Wen Ning has cleared your schedule for the afternoon."

Lan Zhan could only acknowledge with a nod and then another when Wen Qing told him to call her if he needed anything. She left the room and Lan Zhan moved to sit on the bed beside his wife.

"Do you remember the day we got married, Qingyang?" he asked. "It had rained in the morning and you were worried it would rain all day? You were afraid your wedding gown would be dragged through the puddles and ruined." Lan Zhan squeezed her hand. "But the skies cleared and the ground was quickly dried by the sun and heat."

He shifted on the bed and placed a hand to his wife's cheek. "You were so radiant that day walking down the aisle. I was overjoyed to see you so happy," he said. "Qingyang, I know things didn't work out the way we planned. I know I could have been a better husband, but please don't go like this. I can't promise that I'll be able to fix everything, to fix us... but you need to wake up to give me a chance to try. Please Qingyang, I'm holding up my end of our vows, you need to hold up your end too... please..."

His tears streamed down his face unchecked and he continued to speak to his wife until his voice was hoarse from overuse. By the time Wen Qing came back into the room several hours later his eyes were dry and he had stopped speaking. He could do nothing but agree with Wen Qing when she told him that he needed to go home and rest. Patting Qingyang's hand one last time he nodded at Wen Qing before returning to his office to retrieve his items. As if on autopilot, Lan Zhan left instructions for Wen Ning before he got in his car and drove home.

He opened the door and stepped in and the knowledge that the silence he was met with would likely be everlasting was the final wave that pushed Lan Zhan under. His breath came in gasps and his hand slipped from the doorknob as he sank back against the wall, sliding down to the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest trying to hold onto the pain, hoping it would act like a life preserver to prevent him from sinking into nothingness. Eventually, he was unable to even hold onto that one last gasp of hope as it ebbed out of him and left him hollow and broken on the floor.

There was no warmth emanating from the hardwood beneath his cheek as he lay there in the fetal position. He didn't know how much time had passed as he stared unseeing at the shadows that moved across the floor. Not even the nudge on his foot from the front door caused him any alarm.