To Follow you or To Lose you

Chapter 8: I like you

I ignored Camila for seventeen days and fourteen hours. Of course, every second for me was more painful than the last. Every time I ignored her, her brown eyes would lose their typical glow and she would start crying, which would break my heart.

But I had to protect myself. Dinah kept telling me, and I thought she was right.

"You can't do something like that to her, Lauren. Camila doesn't deserve it" Ally told me that morning.

"I can't give her false hope either. I'm not gay..."

But she raised both eyebrows, indicating she doubted my word. I repeated it six more times, because seven was her favorite number, but still her gaze didn't change.

"Reciprocating her feelings doesn't make you gay, Lauren. It makes you a person."

But I couldn't think the same way she did.

I knew the world around me and its behavior. I knew that Mr. Brown was quite conservative and that Mrs. Johnson possessed one of the most closed minds on the planet. There was no way they would ever speak to me again if I started feeling things for Camila, which would've altered my routine.

Besides, my clients weren't everything. Also in the middle was her dirty work, our different personalities and the fact that she was leaving.

I couldn't imagine a life with her, but I couldn't imagine a life without her. And that worried me.

"Besides, she has this silly idea of traveling all over the world and..."

"It's not a silly idea. It's her dream, Lauren."

"Anyway, Ally. The point is..."

"The point is that you want her to give up her dreams for you when you should want to be a part of them" Countered the little one in one of those moments where her size didn't matter "... I'm right, Lauren. You can't do something like that to her. Camila doesn't deserve it."

And I didn't say any more, because arguing with my boss was hopeless.

I was a lost case.

The rest of the day I couldn't concentrate, as my talk with Ally repeated over and over again inside my head. It never felt right. Several times I forgot orders or delivered them to the wrong customers. Of course, Dinah corrected all my mistakes. By the way, she and I had been best friends again since the day I cried in that alley. Nothing seemed to have happened between us, and I considered that a good thing.

Camila arrived an hour before the place closed.

She rang the bell six times, because she knew how much I loved that number, and then she walked up to me and kissed my cheek.

I swear I didn't move for at least five seconds.

"Mrs. Luna looks beautiful today" Camila whispered as she tried to caress my cheeks. I hit her hand three times, because I didn't want her to touch me. That just made things harder.

If I wanted to keep the clients, Dinah and my routine, I had to lose her, which I shouldn't have cared. She would leave anyway.

Still, it mattered to me.

"You want something to drink, Adam?" I asked the guy with glasses who was surprised to see me, because he had been too busy admiring Ally while she cleaned the counter.

"Adam likes to look at Ally, and I like to look at Mrs. Moon. Mrs. Moon is pretty..."

I didn't understand why life was so painful, but I kept telling myself six times that my case wasn't among the worst.