To Follow you or To Lose you

Chapter 1: Shawn's whore

I liked to have a completely controlled life. I hated the unexpected, the unnecessary changes, the unplanned days. Chance was my worst enemy, and the numbers inside my head had become the only ones who could understand me.

Six times I checked my lock before I left home and twice I went up in case I forgot something. I walked four blocks to the Body Rock Café and ran one because my mind said I'd be late. Twice I came in because I liked the sound of the bell and three times I greeted Ally, my boss and restaurant owner.

"Ten minutes earlier, as usual" Ally told me with a smile that morning. She was throwing a bouquet of flowers in the trash, which her ex-boyfriend Troy should've sent her. I counted five tulips.

"Mr. Brown will arrive before the opening because his watch has been broken for a month and Dinah won't be here soon, because she's always late, so there must be someone to take care of him" I had repeated those thirty-eight words since a week ago, but I kept saying them. Knowing my day gave me peace of mind.

"And what will you do if Mr. Brown decides not to have breakfast here today, Lauren?"

My brain almost exploded at the time.

"He'll come, Ally" I assured, but my hands were trembling, I was beginning to lack air and my mind was beginning to calculate a day without his arrival.

I was lucky that morning, because Mr. Brown arrived. My day would've been a complete disaster in my mind if I hadn't seen him at the center table cleaning his reading glasses.

So the day passed, my mind never stopped calculating. Dinah, my co-worker and best friend, said I should take things slow. That simple phrase scared the crap out of me.

I couldn't imagine an unexpected life.

"Mrs. Johnson, please don't insist" I almost begged while I was trying to give her back part of the excessive tip that every day the woman struggled to give me "buy something nice with the rest" She believed that I was being too honest, but the truth is that I just wanted that lady to keep the rest because otherwise I would have to recalculate my day.

"Lauren, honey..." She tried to insist.

Why should the elders be so stubborn?!

"If Lauren doesn't want it, then I'll take it" Dinah said as she walked by the table with Mr. Park "Have a good day, Mrs. Johnson."

She didn't protest, perhaps because the same thing had happened to her before. I think she was beginning to understand me.

"Lauren!" I heard Ally calling me.

She was at the cash register counting the money and handing his change over to Adam, a teenage student who was always passing by to buy his breakfast. He claimed to love the food of Big Rob, our cook, but I knew that lonely student with huge glasses was a little in love with her.

"Yes?"

"I know you hate change, but I need you to take the new girl's order. Dinah's busy with Mr. Cheng, and you know how difficult that man is."

Of course I knew. Mr. Cheng could never make up his mind, so I hated him. Serving him meant wasting time, and that was one of the things I hated the most.

Still, I wasn't thrilled by the idea of serving the new girl. She was a stranger, and the unknown was something that terrified me.

"Ally, I can't do it" I refused right away. My heart was beating fast against my chest, because if I accepted, I would've to reformulate my day. I didn't like that idea. Routine was my thing and any change would negatively affect me "Can't we wait for Dinah?"