To Follow you or To Lose you

Chapter 16: Are we over?

The next ten days were a bit complicated for Camila and me. We were over, but we didn't seem to understand what that meant even if we broke up twice a day.

We were over, but we went to my apartment every night to make love. We were over, but she invited me to her apartment to watch a movie. We were over, but every day we said we loved each other. We were done, but when Daniel asked me out, she'd punch him in the eye. We were done, but when a customer came looking for her I insulted them without caring a bit about the number of times.

That night we were done, but she was by my side as I wrote my book.

Camila said she loved watching me write.

"So, James and Lucy broke up because he can't stop counting birds?"

"Yes" I said as I tried to concentrate on every word I wrote. Each paragraph should have an even number of words, while each line should be odd. It wasn't simple.

"That's stupid" Camila told me, but I didn't think so "Our reasons for breaking up were much better, Mrs. Luna"

Maybe she had a point.

Lucy had broken up with James over something that could be ignored. For us, distance was something we couldn't put aside.

"Have you finished?" She questioned me after half an hour during which she never stopped looking at me.

"I still need to write two more pages."

"What about now?"

"There're still two pages left, Camz."

"What about now?"

"Camila!"

I loved her, but at that moment she had begun to frustrate me. She pouted when she heard my loud exclamation filled with annoyance.

"You want something?" She nodded, but I didn't let her tell me it was exactly that "Okay. I still have to finish writing my ten pages a day and I can't do it if you constantly interrupt me, which means if you keep bothering me, I'll be here longer. If you want me to talk to you, you need to be quiet for a second..."

"I won't interrupt you until you're done, Lauren. I promise" She said as she intertwined our pinkies and kissed my cheek three times, making me smile "can I hug you? I know we're over, but I want to hug you."

I let her, maybe because I also needed to feel her arms wrapping around my waist.

"I love you, Mrs. Luna" She confessed before kissing my lips and resting her head on my chest "Even if we are over."

"And I love you too, Camz."

I didn't expect it, but she started crying.

"No, Camz. No. Is something wrong?" If there was one thing I hated in this life, it was making her cry.

I wiped her tears with my thumbs, and she looked at me with the sweetest of all smiles.

"It's just that that's what I needed: to know that you loved me."

I was moved to hear it, so when I kissed her forehead, I told her again just because I wanted to make her happy.

She kissed my lips before fixing herself back into my chest and closing her eyes.

I started writing again when she fell asleep, and at the end she was still there, breathing slowly on my chest, dreaming of fantastic places her mind dreamed of visiting.

I hugged her because I was afraid that at any moment she would leave. And I realized that moments like that were my favorite part of every day, so I started wondering how I would live without them.