To Follow you or To Lose you

Chapter 12: Suffer for her.

It was Valentine's Day, but nothing special happened. I wasn't clear on what was going on between me and Camila, so I didn't buy her anything. She didn't either, and it felt really good. At least I didn't look like the idiot in the relationship.

If it was a relationship between us.

At the time of our break Camila had gone to lunch with Normani, who less than a month from her due date could no longer move a muscle without complaining. I didn't go with them because Dinah insisted on talking to me, and even though the last few days she just looked down on me, she was still my best friend.

I gave her a chance that day.

We sat at the table with our lunches, and I was really surprised to see Ally joining us. Let's just say lately my boss preferred to go out at that time with Matthew, the new music teacher from the nearby school.

Adam, for his part, hadn't stopped attending the café. Maybe, despite his young age and the fact that Ally only saw him as a younger brother, he still had hope.

That day I was watching my friend in the distance as she ate a sandwich whose jelly was soiling her pants.

"I know you will be surprised by my interest in the subject" Dinah started, and even with these first nine words I already knew where I was planning to go "but I need you to explain to us what is happening between you and Camila."

I scratched my neck pretty nervous, because I didn't even know it myself. I mean, obviously we were something, but I couldn't find words to define our "something".

"You kiss every day, you have dates, you hold your hands, you look at each other like idiots and, we're not stupid, we know you have sex at least three days a week" continued Ally, and I couldn't help feeling a little uncomfortable. Talking to my best friend about these issues was a little easier, but doing it with my boss was kind of weird.

"But when we talk, you don't refer to her as "my girlfriend" or anything. It's just Camila" It was the first time that Dinah spoke about her without showing hatred or contempt, which made me happy just a little "...Besides, you haven't given anything away for Valentine's Day and every time a customer asks for your girlfriend you walk away saying you don't have one."

All she was saying was true, and I just didn't want to commit too much to Camila when she could leave at any moment. The waitress job gave her a better income, and that meant that she would raise the right amount at any time.

Accepting what we were, I thought, would only have given her free passage to break my heart.

"I just. just. just..." Thirty-four times I tried to continue, but it never seemed to be the right repetition to do so.

"Are you sure your tongue isn't damaged when you do that? I mean, you need to use it on Camila and..." Dinah was like that most of the time. She didn't measure her words and said the first thing that came to mind, which could be funny or awkward. I loved her for that.

"Dinah!" Our boss exclaimed before giving a slight blow to her arm.

The height difference between the two, I must admit, made me funny to see how much my best friend was afraid of the little girl's warnings.

"I know you're in love with her, Lauren. I've never seen you like this before. If she told you to stop counting, you would, I'm sure of that."

We always told each other what was happening and spoke frankly. We accepted the other as she was and swore an eternal friendship.

I don't understand what happened to us

"And yes, Camila is crazy, but..."

"Dinah!" That was Ally again, and my best friend apologized even though she didn't seem to want to.