To Follow you or To Lose you

Chapter 18: Apart

Two months later Camila was still at my side. I was beginning to think that the need to travel wouldn't call her back, so I allowed my heart to get used to her presence.

Suddenly we slept together every day, did the shopping like a couple of happy wives, watched movies on the couch on Wednesdays and hugged during my writing hours until I was done with my ten pages. In short, she had become an indispensable part of my life.

"Can you stop looking at her and pay attention to what I tell you, Lauren?" It was Dinah, who was talking to me during our break. Camila was chatting with a couple of pebbles on the cafeteria floor and had asked me not to bother them because what they were talking about was private.

Still, Camila spoke quite loudly at one point and I listened to her. She was telling them how much she loved me.

"She's touched her hair four times in less than 30 seconds, Dinah, do you think I should worry?"

She laughed at me.

"All girls touch their hair, Lauren."

"But not so often. Maybe I should..."

"Lauren, she's talking about you with those pebbles. I assure you she's quite nervous and that's why she does it." She tried to reassure me before taking a big sip of her drink. "She has told me that rocks are a bit old-fashioned, so I wouldn't be surprised if your girlfriend was getting a conservative speech right now."

"But..."

"One more word from a girlfriend in love and I swear I'll hit the table so fast you won't be able to count."

And since I was terrified of not being in control of things, I stopped looking at Camila, although something in my head told me that it was a necessity to keep doing it.

"You're walking me to the mall today, Lauren. Lately we haven't gone out much." I didn't know if she was demanding or asking, but I knew I would end up with her. She came up to me shortly afterwards and smiled at me. "Also, I know a store with a type of clothing that Camila would love to see you wear. And you know what I mean."

She winked away, and in my mind, I repeated her sentence three times before I realized exactly what she was talking about.

"Okay. I just need to talk to Camila and ask her if she has any time to..."

But my sentence was interrupted by his laughter.

"Camila is your girlfriend, not part of your body. When I talk about going out, I mean you and me... Besides, I'm sure you both could use a little distance from their craziness. I think I saw you talking to the birds a few days ago."

"In my defense, the birds are very kind."

My friend laughed at my joke.

Even though my heart begged not to leave Camila, I knew Dinah was right. If we continued like this, we would end up getting tired of each other's presence, which would make all our suffering useless.

My heart had to learn to do calculations and realize that we were two.

"I guess I'll see you on the way out."

I said yes twelve times, and she seemed happy with it.

When I told Camila about my plans with Dinah, I expected her to get mad at me and ask me to stay by her side, but she did nothing but smile as she said Normani would be a great company.

And I felt kind of sad to hear her, because I thought from my fears that she was capable of living without me.

Once at the mall Dinah managed to distract me, if only a little. Camila walking away from me was an image that even my crazy mind couldn't tolerate.