Insane For Him Kai Parker

Kai's Humanity

Thursday, September 9, 2021

Kai's POV:

I know I have to tell her. It's not right to keep holding this in. I don't know how to feel or act around HER. My mind is spinning and earlier, I even got turned on? That bra and panties were so fucking sexy. And then I hid her clothes just to make it last longer. At that moment I wanted to... I can't think straight with being around her. It was like, what do they call it, love at first sight. 

I move closer in between her legs and put my hands down on either side of her thighs. "Y/N I have to confess something," I whisper now close to her face. I can hear her heart racing, she wants me to continue. She nods her head at me. "I have tried to think about this after you fell asleep this morning, and I can't stay focused," I say, "I have never felt anything like this before, and I have no idea what it is. And it's quite frankly scaring the hell out of me."

She looks at me sweetly and places her hands on my freshly shaved face. They feel so different, they are smooth and soft. I have never had anyone touch me in a caring way. It was my dad beating me or one of my siblings. I never want her to take them off me, she pulls away but I take her hand and rest it back on my face.

I close my eyes and it starts to get hard to breathe, and I have a lump in my throat. I feel water run down my face. I think I finally found the door to my humanity. She pulls me close and holds me. I cried for a long time. I have only cried one other time in my entire life. It felt weird doing it again. I think it will never end until finally it stops.

She was shushing me and telling me it's ok the entire time. We both jump when there is a knock at the bathroom door. "Hey Y/N we need to talk about last night," her mom says softly through the door, "I know he is in there just open the door." I wipe my face and look at Y/N for a moment and then I somehow find a smile.

I open the door and go back next to her. Elena doesn't know how to act around me. I can feel my face all wet and Y/N had started crying too. Elena came over to us and I backed away from Y/N. Elena holds her and whispers something in her ear. I don't even bother to listen.

I can only see Y/N nodding and sobbing more. Elena hugs me unexpectedly and whispers in my ear,"You need to take care of her, if I know anything about humanity I think you just found yours, you can't lose it."

Elena's words sank into me, and for the first time in my life, I actually cared. Me and Y/N talked for the rest of the day until she fell asleep early on my chest. It felt good. She was so peaceful when she slept. I eventually faded and dreamt about her. I fell asleep just as peacefully as her. She is the only one I want ever again. I don't want to ever look into anyone else's eyes. I don't ever want to fall asleep with anyone else. I felt a strong deep connected feeling with her and it was amazing.

One Month Later: 

Saturday October 9, 2021 

Kai's POV: 

Me and Y/N grew closer over the next month. I get to spend every night with her, despite Damon being an ass about it. It was the same routine every day. She goes to school, comes home, eats, showers, and watches TV in bed with me until she falls asleep.

If I knew what heaven felt like, I'd say this was pretty close. I mean I have only been in hell. When I am with her, I lose my breath. It's surreal to feel this way. I woke up this morning and felt different somehow. The girl in my arms, I don't want to kill her. I have grown used to the feeling that consumes me when I'm with her. I didn't know how to describe it. Love? No it couldn't be, me as a sociopath could not love, could I?

Today is Saturday so she stays in my arms just a little bit longer than usual. I allow my eyes to close and soak up the feeling of her. She is wrapped around me. One of her legs is bent and the other draped over my waist. One of her hands is on my chest and her nose is nuzzled into my side.

I kiss her head but she wakes up right after. Her hair is messy and she has bags under her eyes. She still looks beautiful. I stare at her for a moment too long so I clear my throat and change the subject. "Uh sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," I say apologetically.

"It's ok as long as I get to wake up with you." She untangles herself from me and lays across her bed. And puts her hands under her chin on my chest. I smile at her and it all feels right. I have some great plans for us today.