Insane For Him Kai Parker

Fear

Sunday, February 6, 2022

Kai's POV:

Today when I wake up all I feel is anticipation. It was so hard, I wanted Y/N to say yes so bad. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. And since I can't become human that means I had to ask for her to join me in a life forever. 

It has only been a day since I asked her so I can't rush her or she will freak out and say no anyway.  The only thing I can really do right now is wait for her. Although the feeling will kill me if she doesn't want to do it I will make the most of her human life with me. 

I heard her uncle Stefan was a ripper which maybe is what is holding her back. The fear that she might be a ripper as well would surely scare her. If she decided to do it and she was a ripper I would be there to help her every step of the way. 

It is really hard to beat but it isn't impossible. The fact that I haven't fed in a while means I am getting really hungry and somewhat weak. I should probably go out today but before I was too busy working on Y/N's birthday. By noon Y/N is awake and I am ready to go out for a bit. 

I stay for a short time and make her breakfast but at lunch time. After that she says she is going to go shower and just relax after that. I hate that I gave up the opportunity to take a shower with her but I am feeling really hungry. 

I head into town where people are pretty inclined with vampires and history of the town. I go to the hospital and thankfully I see Matt Donovan which I can ask him to get me some blood bags. I go up to him and ask if I could buy some blood bags and of course he says yes. 

They knew if they didn't give the vampires blood bags we would have to feed on people which they would kill us for. I drink about three blood bags before I even get home. I decide to stop and keep the rest in the fridge down in the basement where Y/N said I could keep them. 

When I get back upstairs Y/N is done with her shower and is starting to turn on some Netflix. I am pretty awake after my dose of blood but I go and lay down with her. We end up watching some Ginny And Georgia which honestly isn't that bad of a show. 

After about four hours we decide we have finally had enough and besides it is almost six P.M. so we have to go make some dinner. Deciding on spaghetti that is exactly what we make. The way Y/N makes it tastes really good and she still won't tell me why or how. 

While we make it we talk about yesterday and what Y/N thought of everything. She said that it was really thoughtful and even if she didn't want it she was happy that I had a surprise for her. I smile at the thought. "And about my gift..." She bites her lip and looks down. "I have thought about it and I am pretty worried." 

So I think I was right, she was afraid of becoming a ripper. "Is it because being a ripper runs in your family and you thought that you would become one?" She nods her head and starts to do the dishes. I leave the conversation there not wanting to upset her in any way. 

Dinner goes fairly quickly and it is only about seven-thirty by the time we are done. In complete boredom we even start to do some baking. We argue about what we should make. Our options were cake, cookies, brownies, or cupcakes. Of course I want cupcakes but Y/N wants to make brownies. 

I finally suck it up and make brownies with her, we can always make cupcakes next time. There is some small talk throughout but we make some amazing brownies. We eat half the pan before they practically even cool off. At about nine we are finally tired and we head to bed. 

I want to shower before I go into bed but Y/N is really tired and wants to fall asleep with me. I was dirty but she didn't care and she practically dragged me to the bed. I lay on top of her but I fear I am squishing her so I get off. She pulls me back on and plays with my hair. 

When she finally falls asleep I get off and lay beside her. I debate whether I should pull her on top of me or not but in the end I decide to just leave her to sleep. Worry fills me wondering if Y/N will never want to be with me forever. 

I understand it was a huge decision but I want her to know that I am never leaving and I will always be with her no matter what. I just don't know how I can prove that to her. This is the first time I have felt this way for anyone, I want to be with her forever and anything less isn't enough for me. Right now I just have to wait for her to choose...

Hey guys I know I wasn't active for a long ass time but I am back now. I hope you guys still enjoy my writing and shortly I may even come out with another book that I am writing but not sure yet. Please vote and comment I really appreciate it. Love y'all and have a good day or night!!!