Ch. 58: Satisfied

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Dream is gone with Techno today. They're trying to map out a little further where the Eyes of Ender will lead them, so they took the horses and headed out this morning.

It feels weird...how they chose to do this a day after our confessions. We were talking last night about making it known that we're in a relationship, albeit unconventional to traditional standards.

How are we supposed to do that if one of the participants is gone today?

Last night still feels like a blur, cuddles and kisses and repetitions of those three words that could have made or broke our evolving relationship.

At least George and Nick didn't go out today to do tasks that would lead further from the base...

Is it wrong to miss Clay already? Am I clingy to have wanted to have a day with all three of them after that confession?

To want to hear them say it again, whispered against my skin or hugged tight in reminder of just how important I am to them.

To say it back confidently to them and watch the way each of them lights up at three words that seem so simple to say but carry so much weight.

I laid down in Clay's part of the bed, laying my face into his pillow and inhaling his comforting scent and remembering the feeling of his lips against my temple as he admitted a little more bravely that he loves me.

I felt like he wanted to say it down in his office when we were alone, but the confirmation straight from his lips felt so much better.

I never knew how much I wanted to tell them I love them until I heard them say it first. Of course, I love them. Look at all we've been through!

We've survived together this long in this place. We've worked hard to make ourselves comfortable, make a home for ourselves while we work even harder to get back to our original homes.

We've fought tooth and nail against the monsters, against the Pillagers. We've made friends and we've created alliances and a whole functioning city together.

We've been through so much, how could I not love these men who have been beside me this whole time and done whatever they could to make me happy and keep me safe while I've worked my hardest to keep them happy as well?

I do want to keep them safe, but I know they're much stronger than I am and capable enough of protecting themselves. Besides, they have no intentions of leaving me alone in this place.

Without them...I would have either died that first day to that skeleton or gone crazy from this place.

Plus, I've never felt more wanted than with them. My heart feels like it's never felt this kind of adoration or love before them.

I pulled my face away from Clay's pillow when a hand trailed up my calf, looking back just as Nick crawled over me and laid his weight into me.

"What're you doing?" Nick asked innocently, pressing a kiss to my covered shoulder before laying his chin on it.

"Thinking about how lucky I am to have you three." I answered, smiling down at the pillows when Nick immediately chuckled happily before kissing my cheek.

"You've got it wrong there. We're lucky to have you, we probably would have killed each other by now if we never met you."

"Oh, you're all brothers. Don't be so dramatic."

Nick laughed again before rolling over to my side, opening his arms wide as an invitation for me to cuddle with him.

"Why're you in here?" I asked, knowing he was supposed to be learning how to smith better weapons in the city today. Which he was nearly bubbling over with excitement this morning about, claiming he was going to make the best weapons we'll ever see.

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