Lover boy. My name and title.
It is an old nickname that has followed me for years - perhaps having more than one origin? It can be observed that I have quite a flirtatious internet persona yet this is due to the confidence increase I have online, I would be described as a shy and gentle creature behind the screen.
"Someone who smiles even though they're dying on the inside" - An old ex friend
I am a lover, maybe not to you. I'm the kind of person who tries so desperately hard to love the world no matter how hard it bites me in the ass. I can't deny it, all my stories and poems are about my desire to love all the messed up shit in the world, and maybe in some of them, I'm writing about how much it's hurt me. I guess, truth be told, it's the only thing I like about myself - behind the hard, gloomy exterior is an optimist begging to be let out of its shell and taste the good again.
It is a name I think describes me perfectly regardless, I welcome you to address me in the same way, if you wish that is. Though, I accept many different names that one has to offer - to associate someone with a name that reminds them of something is truly an honour, it breathes respect, trust, safety and comfort. It is like a medal, it shows associated and allyship - a mutual bond if you will. In this day and age, such a thing is hard. Trust is earned and hard to gain, show me a person who doesn't lie, in truth that is no one. Everyone lies, they do it to protect themselves, it's only natural. Even if one does not lie to others then they are surely lying to themselves.
Optimism. It's dangerous - I tend to walk blindly with open arms and you can hurt me a 1000 times but I promise after 2000000 chances that I will walk away. Maybe life isn't about smiling through it all, maybe it's about collecting the scars to prove we've actually went through it all. Life - it bites back as hard as it can no matter how much kindness you show it and sometimes ignoring it makes you an idiot, so I guess you can say I'm an idiot.
Healing doesn't mean the damage never existed, it means the damage no longer controls our lives.
YOU ARE READING
The woes of a Modern Day Sappho
SpiritualWoes from thou, a book about yours truly and the documents of life's ups and down: the experience from someone broken and lost with a memory to assist. I suffer from many hardships: mental, physical and emotional. I have poor health and many mental...
