I get so many new pills.
Is this really how I want to go on?
Just surviving and having my life controlled by medication. Is it even worth it?
This isn't living is it.. I want to live instead of surviving, this isn't living..
What.. what even is living exactly? Am I just surviving?
If I'm not living for myself then why am I still here, what would be the point? What would be the meaning if I wasn't living for myself?
At times like this I realise how much I've done with my life, if I were to die.. I would die with regrets. There's so many things I haven't done, I think sometimes we forget what there is to live for when we feel so low, we forget about the love and experiences we are yet to find.. I think we should live for ourselves. So despite the fact I don't like taking so many pills.. I will. Because there's so much I want to do.. I want to live my life with someone special, I want to explore the world, I want to live in the moment and experience everything; Good and bad. Because sunny days come after rainy ones. I want to live for myself and everyone else, if I think about my accomplishments - they're always increasing. Because I haven't done everything yet, if you had asked me what I would want to achieve a few months ago - I would say love and friends. Now that I have achieved but also lost that - I want to live for the moment. Even if they're so brief and temporary, the memories I have made and the moments I have lived in.. I can't comprehend them. I never thought I was capable of being loved by another human being, and I was, even if it was only a short time. Everyday is a surprise, good or bad, I welcome it. It seems, somehow, things have gotten a little bit brighter.
Life is a journey,
A long one but not one that you have to or will always take alone. So now I can say; I want to live for myself and the people I have yet to meet, the experiences I have yet to try and the memories I am yet to make.
YOU ARE READING
The woes of a Modern Day Sappho
روحانياتWoes from thou, a book about yours truly and the documents of life's ups and down: the experience from someone broken and lost with a memory to assist. I suffer from many hardships: mental, physical and emotional. I have poor health and many mental...
